072: The Truth About Open Relationships

Podcast Guest: Alan Hawkins
072: The Truth About Open Relationships

Listen to the Show:

In this Episode

Alan joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the challenges of an open relationship.


0:00 – Introduction: Who is Alan Hawkins? 
2:09 – Consensual non monogamy 
6:26 – How common is polyamory 
11:34 – The ending of open relationships 
16:27 – Challenges 
17:44 – “Consensual”  
20:02 – One sided open relationship 
21:49 – Why does changing the norms of relationships matter? 
25:55 – Risk vs. Reward 
32:18 – What is the key to a stronger marriage connection? 
24:30 – Alan’s Resources  
36:47 – Takeaways   


Insights and Invites


“I believe marriage is a relationship that asks you to give your all to each other mentally, emotionally, sexually, give your all to another person. I think that kind of depth in a relationship leads to a richness and a beauty and a power that you can't achieve by dividing your heart.” - Alan Hawkins  

“Go deeper with one person instead of broader with others.” - Dave Schramm   

“The deeper you get, the more you understand, which then means the more you love.” - Alan Hawkins  


  • “Go Deeper” with your partner by downloading the Gottman Card Deck app. 
  • Learn about ways that you can create a stronger marriage connection by attending the webinars held by the Utah Marriage Commission 

About Alan Hawkins:

Alan Hawkins is the manager of the Utah Marriage Commission. He recently retired after 33 years as a professor at Brigham Young University. He earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies at Pennsylvania State University in 1990. Professor Hawkins scholarship and outreach efforts focused on educational interventions and policies to help couples form and sustain healthy marriages and relationships and to help fathers be engaged in the lives of their children. Since 2000, he has been intricately involved in state and federal policy efforts to support relationship education programs for disadvantaged families. He has served on the Utah marriage commission since 2004. And as a past chair of the Utah marriage commission. He currently serves as vice chair on the board for the National Association for Relationship and Marriage Education. 

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