019: Abuse, Affairs, Addiction: Can Marriage Survive?  

Podcast Guest: Dr. Geoff Steurer

019 Abuse Affairs Addictions

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In this Episode

Episode Transcript

Geoff Steurer joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz to discuss betrayal trauma and the three A’s: abuse, affairs and addiction. Geoff shares some great tips to help both partners through the challenges and struggles of the trauma that is often the result. 

0:00 – Introduction: Who is Dr. Geoff Steurer? 

2:33 – Why Dr. Steurer chose to focus on such a specific area 

4:44 – When parents can do better, they are the ultimate help for children 

6:00 – The three A’s 

6:15 – Abuse – what do you say to individuals who deal with this?  

7:23 – Power differential within abuse  

8:43 – First steps to dealing with abuse  

12:58 – Suggestion for those on the outside  

17:42 – Affairs – about 20% of men & 13% of women  

18:40 – You are not crazy for feeling hurt  

20:30 – Understanding both sides of the hurt  

22:53 – Recommendations for those on the outside  

26:30 – 70-80% of marriages make it through it 

28:48 – Addiction – can marriages survive?  

29:10 – It is important to be open about it 

32:18 – How to respond when being confronted about addiction  

34:44 – Resources  

35:46 – What creates a stronger marriage  

37:58 – Takeaway   

About Geoff Steurer

Geoff Steurer has a passionate commitment to helping couples rebuild their
relationships from crisis to connection. He specializes in helping couples and individuals 
affected by the trauma of sexual betrayal. He understands how exhilarating and stressful 
marriage can be and works hard at his own marriage. His goal is to show couples how his 
work will pay off in their own lives. 

Steurer specializes in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, treating pornography and 
sexual addictions, infidelity, men's issues, anxiety, depression, anger management, and 
family therapy. He is the co-author of "Love You, Hate the Porn", creator of the "Trust 
Building Bootcamp", host of the podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and author of a 
weekly online Q&A column. 

Geoff Steurer Links







Insights and Invites


Dave: Reach out, reach out for help and find someone you trust to speak with.  

Liz: Hope. There is so much to be hopeful about. Believe in marriage and look at the other side. 

Geoff: Learn to see the other person as someone who is different than you are.  


  • Learn how to stay close to your partner so you can find your way back to each other when dealing with betrayal and trauma  
  • Don’t be afraid of the truth, your marriage can handle it  
  • Recognize that there are a lot of people who struggle with these things, do not feel ashamed. Get help and know you are not alone.  
  • Take the 12 week self-guided online course if you have broken someone’s trust  

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