019: Abuse, Affairs, Addiction: Can Marriage Survive?
Podcast Guest: Dr. Geoff Steurer
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
Dr. Geoff Steurer joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz to discuss betrayal trauma and the three A’s: abuse, affairs and addiction. Geoff shares some great tips to help both partners through the challenges and struggles of the trauma that is often the result.
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Dr. Geoff Steurer?
2:33 – Why Dr. Steurer chose to focus on such a specific area
4:44 – When parents can do better, they are the ultimate help for children
6:00 – The three A’s
6:15 – Abuse – what do you say to individuals who deal with this?
7:23 – Power differential within abuse
8:43 – First steps to dealing with abuse
12:58 – Suggestion for those on the outside
17:42 – Affairs – about 20% of men & 13% of women
18:40 – You are not crazy for feeling hurt
20:30 – Understanding both sides of the hurt
22:53 – Recommendations for those on the outside
26:30 – 70-80% of marriages make it through it
28:48 – Addiction – can marriages survive?
29:10 – It is important to be open about it
32:18 – How to respond when being confronted about addiction
34:44 – Resources
35:46 – What creates a stronger marriage
37:58 – Takeaway
About Geoff Steurer
Geoff Steurer has a passionate commitment to helping couples rebuild their
relationships from crisis to connection. He specializes in helping couples and individuals
affected by the trauma of sexual betrayal. He understands how exhilarating and stressful
marriage can be and works hard at his own marriage. His goal is to show couples how his
work will pay off in their own lives.
Steurer specializes in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, treating pornography and
sexual addictions, infidelity, men's issues, anxiety, depression, anger management, and
family therapy. He is the co-author of "Love You, Hate the Porn", creator of the "Trust
Building Bootcamp", host of the podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and author of a
weekly online Q&A column.
Geoff Steurer Links
Insights and Invites
Dave: Reach out, reach out for help and find someone you trust to speak with.
Liz: Hope. There is so much to be hopeful about. Believe in marriage and look at the other side.
Geoff: Learn to see the other person as someone who is different than you are.
- Learn how to stay close to your partner so you can find your way back to each other when dealing with betrayal and trauma
- Don’t be afraid of the truth, your marriage can handle it
- Recognize that there are a lot of people who struggle with these things, do not feel ashamed. Get help and know you are not alone.
- Take the 12 week self-guided online course if you have broken someone’s trust
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