014: Navigating the Holidays After Betrayal

Podcast Guest: Jill Manning

A Better You For a Better Marriage

Listen to the Show:

In this Episode

Full Episode Transcript

Betrayal during the holiday season can cause feelings of joy and celebration to turn sour. However, there is hope. Dr. Jill Manning joins Liz to share her expertise in navigating the holidays after betrayal. Get cozy and tune in for a recipe for holiday healing.

0:00 – Introduction: Who is Dr. Jill Manning?

1:25 – Welcome Dr. Jill Manning.

1:50 – Managing the Holidays after betrayal.

3:58 – What are the types of loss and betrayal?

5:50 – Why is betrayal so devastating?

7:46 – The First Step to Healing.

11:45 – Let Feelings Flow.

13:39 – Physiological Responses to betrayal.

14:31 – No feelings at all?

15:17 – Simplify and Slow Down.

16:29 – An invitation.

17:00 – A journal.

17:39 – A batch of honesty.

18:20 – A recipe for holiday healing.

18:53 – Deep honesty is sacred ground.

19:40 – How do I honor self-care?

22:52 – Dr. Jill’s self-care.

23:59 – Deepening the meaning of holidays.

26:53 – Integrating healing in holidays

29:05 – Who should we reveal our pain too?

30:15 – Advice for allies.

32:18 – Dr. Jill’s Takeaway  

About Jill Manning

Dr. Jill Manning is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in working with individuals who have been sexually betrayed through infidelity or compulsive sexual behavior. For over two decades, her work has been featured in numerous peer-reviewed research journals, television programs, documentaries, radio shows, podcasts, and magazine articles, including The Oprah Magazine. While serving as a Social Science Fellow at the Heritage Foundation in Washington, D.C., she was invited to testify as an expert before a US Senate sub-committee about the harms of pornography on the family. She is the author of “What’s the Big Deal about Pornography: A Guide for the Internet Generation” and has spoken out on the harms of pornography on college campuses around the country, including Princeton, Yale, Harvard, and Notre Dame. She currently serves on the Board of Directors for The Institute for Mental Health Professional Standards based in Denver. A native of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, she currently lives in Colorado with her husband and two daughters.




To increase access to betrayal-trauma-specific resources, Dr. Manning produces digital downloads that allow therapists, coaches, and individuals all over the world to integrate high-quality and affordable digital resources into their professional work with betrayed clients or their own self-care efforts. 

Digital downloads, including several free printables, may be found at:


Insights and Invites


Dr. Jill Manning: There is hope after betrayal.


  • Think of one holiday tradition or practice that brings you meaning and helps you feel connected and choose two holiday traditions to let go of for the time while you are healing.
  • Start small and customize your self-care by body mapping. Visualize your body head to toe, and ask yourself how is stress manifesting itself in your body? Go through the list and develop a self-care task to address each stress reaction.
  • Download the CALM app and try one guided meditation.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:



Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org

Instagram: @strongermarriagelife


Dr. Dave Schramm:





Facebook Marriage Group:


Facebook Parenting Group:



Dr. Liz Hale: