013: A New Perspective on Pornography

Podcast Guest: Cameron Staley

A Better You For a Better Marriage

Listen to the Show:

In this Episode

In today’s episode, Dr. Staley discusses how to develop purpose in life during and after compulsive sexual behavior usage, AKA pornography. Join us today as we discuss strategies of hope in recovery for spouses, parents and viewers of pornography,

*Trigger warning* Today’s episode dives into a discussion about the harmful effects of pornography on oneself and the marriage connection. We recognize this topic is sensitive for many and can be triggering for some. We also recognize that professional scholars have differing perspectives when it comes to pornography, or even using the term addiction. Our interview with Dr. Staley is one perspective on pornography and we hope today’s episode will provide you with helpful insights on this issue.

0:00 – Introduction: Who is Cameron Staley

2:19 – Pornography Addiction: Altering our terminology

4:40 – Finding true connection

6:25 – Are women responsible for managing men’s sexual behavior?

8:45 – Using more appropriate terminology: “Compulsive sexual behavior”

9:30 – Short-term satisfaction vs long-term emotional intelligence with pornography and masturbation

10:52 – The river analogy: kids and pornography

13:16 – Can we control our urge to view pornography?

15:00 – Emotions associated with pornography

17:10 – Managing emotional stress in relationships where one is viewing pornography

19:13 – Focusing on what part of yourself you want to grow

20:47 – Profiles of porn viewers: Are the stereotypes correct?

22:40 – An alternative to shaming your partner who’s struggling with porn

24:48 – At what age does porn viewing typically start?

26:36 – Compulsive sexual behavior as a coping mechanism for underlying mental health concerns, including trauma.

29:00 – Staying aware of your children’s struggles and building a precedent of communication

30:20 – Are phone filters an excuse to avoid having conversations with our kids?

32:33 – How should we react when our kids tell us they saw porn?

33:34 – ACT: Acceptance Commitment Therapy

35:50 – Additional resources: Life After Porn app, The Happiness Trap book, Life After Pornography program, therapy with Dr. Staley

39:05 – Acceptance and Commitment practices

41:26 – Developing a life with meaning and purpose

42:30 – Commitment – behavior in line with values

43:55 – The things that matter most are just on the other side of discomfort

45:40 – Hope and healing is available

46:10 – Feel it but don’t follow it – intentionally choosing to not follow the urge

46:44 – Where to find Dr. Staley and his resources

About Cameron Staley

Dr. Cameron Staley is a clinical psychologist who is passionate about helping individuals improve their mental and sexual health. In his TEDX talk, Changing the Narrative Around the Addiction Story, Cameron shares details from his research and counseling experience regarding helpful ways to talk about sexuality and how to effectively reduce unwanted pornography viewing through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). To make these principles more accessible to those who are struggling with pornography, he developed the Life After Pornography online program and the Life After Pornography Coach app. Cameron also provides online counseling services to residents of Utah and Idaho and coaching services for individuals seeking additional support in applying the mental and sexual health principles found in the Life After Series programs.


Cameron Staley Links:

 The Life After Series on Youtube



Cameron Staley’s Website

Cameron’s Podcast

Listen to Cameron’s TEDx Talk

Download the Life After Pornography App

Insights and Invites


Dave: Feel it but don’t follow it – intentionally choosing to not follow the urge. Dave illustrates that pornography users have the ability to overcome the urge and empower themselves to fight harmful behaviors.

Liz: Though compulsive sexual behavior is so prevalent hope for healing is still available.

Cameron: The things that matter most are just on the other side of discomfort. Putting forth the effort to be uncomfortable and progress will lead to a world of happiness.


  • For Parents: Open the lines of communication with your children. When you witness pornography in your home open up a conversation with your children immediately about what they say, how it made them feel, and why the producers of that content decided to use that marketing strategy.
  • If you haven’t talked to your partner about pornography, find a time to do so. Sit down and ask about their experience with pornography and how it has affected their lives. Discuss your own experience with pornography.
  • If you are seeking recovery and hope, download the Life After Pornography app or find counseling with Dr. Staley or a professional near you. Hope is available through intentionality, take the time to be intentional by seeking long-term emotional intelligence over short-term satisfaction.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:



Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org

Instagram: @strongermarriagelife


Dr. Dave Schramm:





Facebook Marriage Group:


Facebook Parenting Group:



Dr. Liz Hale: