012: What Happened to Our Relationship Connection?
Featuring: Liz and Dave
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In this Episode
People are more important than problems. In this week’s episode, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz dive into the deep end of the relationship pool. Using the metaphor of a swimming pool, they discuss the importance of maintenance and consistently adding cups of connection. They share 8 “D’s of Disconnection” - how to become more aware of these threats to couple connection and how to tackle them with intentionality.
See full episode transcript
0:00 – Introduction
1:15 – Today we will talk about things that can often disconnect us as couples
2:53 – We aren’t perfect and are still working on this
4:15 – What Dave would share with teens
5:30 – Relationship pool of connection – swimming pool metaphor
6:30 – Cups of connection
7:45 – All pools need maintenance
8:36 – Keep the intentionality in your connection
11:27 – The 8 D’s of Disconnection
11:54 – 1. Drifting
13:24 – 2. Darts and daggers
15:48 – 3. Disruptions
17:58 – 4. Distance – emotional and physical
20:14 – 5. Destructive decisions – decisions without discussion
22:49 – 6. Disagreement and defensiveness – think about the patterns
25:42 – 7. Daily hassles – the messiness of life
27:00 – Hit delete - people over problems
27:13 – 8. Last D – digital distractions
31:20 – Takeaways
Insights and Invites
Dave: Remember to be more intentional, think about those things you need to work on and be mindfully aware. Don’t go automatic, be aware of the things that are taking away from your connection.
Liz: Put people over your problems, remember what is important.
- Talk with your partner about your current relationship pool, what needs maintenance? How can you add more cups of connection?
- Go over each “D of Disconnection” and discuss where you need work and make note of the places you are doing well.
- Be mindful in the things you are doing as a couple, stay intentional and remember to put people over the problem.
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