Sex Starts in the Kitchen - Denhi Chaney
In this webinar Denhi helps us understand the emotional side of a healthy sex life with our partners. She explains the four essential parts of a healthy sexual relationship including a sexual relationship with the self, sexual education, sexual communication, and important routines and rituals. She discusses why it is important to understand these things and gives tips to work on them.
Time Markers
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Denhi Chaney, LMFT
2:15 – We are complex beings, with complex sexual relationships.
2:44 – Why is this important?
5:21 – What are the essential parts of a healthy sexual relationship?
8:22 – Sexual relationship with self - personal perception of sex.
10:30 – Family of origin/cultural environment.
11:08 – Know and accept your body.
12:08 – Remove shame from sex.
12:57 – Sexual education.
13:39 – Anatomy.
16:40 – Emotional differences and Sexual Response Cycle.
17:41 – Phase: Desire.
21:03 – Phase: Arousal.
23:23 – Phase: Engaging in sex.
24:37 – Communication - flexibility.
26:45 – Redirect according to likes/dislikes.
28:30 – Anticipation - building connection.
32:01 – Routines and Rituals - experiment and plan.
32:46 – Foreplay.
33:18 – From the romantic to the sensual.
35:36 – Specific Techniques.
36:00 – Sensate focus - becoming in tune.
37:24 – Transitioning.
38:22 – Open body postures and female orgasm.
42:56 - Questions.
About Denhi Chaney
Denhi has a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. She currently works as a therapist at Utah Valley Counseling. She specializes in addiction, trauma, and marital issues. She has worked in the mental health field for over 10 years. She has supervised MFT students with their Spanish-speaking clients. She also continues to work as an adjunct faculty at BYU. She lives in Provo, Utah with her husband and 2 boys. She enjoys helping her clients improve their relationships, as well as reading, dancing, cooking, singing, and laughing out loud.
Webinar Guest Links:
https://fhssfaculty.byu.edu/directory/denhi-chaney
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/denhi-chaney-provo-ut/900607
https://utahvalleycounseling.com/blog/therapists/denhi-chaney/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/denhi-chaney-34794835
Insights:
I think sometimes we forget that we are sexual beings. We were born with everything biologically and emotionally that connects us to others. So, sexual relationships are an integral part of healthy relationships. I believe there are far too many couples that do not enjoy their sex life physically or emotionally, and in result their relationships suffer as a whole.
Invites:
- Make a mental inventory of your personal sex education. How was your family of origin and cultural environment impactful in the way you view sex?
- To remove the shame from sex, educate yourself on the anatomy. Become comfortable with your own body to where you are comfortable making a decision to be sexual.
- Practice communicating about sex. Expressing love and connection, likes and dislikes both verbally and nonverbally to reach a safe environment for each partner to understand the other in a healthy sexual relationship.
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