Mastering the Art of Communication in Marriage - Nikki Harmon, LMFT
In this webinar Nikki will help you learn speaking and listening skills as well as go over the conflict cycle, including how couples get stuck in it, how to get out, and how to stay out.
Time Markers
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Nikki Harmon, LMFT
1:43 – Overview/disclaimer.
3:13 – About Nikki – background.
4:04 – Connection and attachment are basic human needs.
4:23 – Scientific research in history.
9:53 – What does conflict do?
11:42 – Speaking – things that go wrong.
15:06 – Tips – I statements.
20:12 – Let's practice I statements.
21:43 – Listening – things that go wrong.
23:57 – Tips – reflective listening.
24:43 – Let's practice reflective listening.
27:50 – Acknowledge and apologize.
30:00 – Impact vs Intent
31:49 – Example interaction.
33:05 – Conflict Cycle.
34:45 – Primary emotion vs secondary emotion.
35:40 – EFT Cycle explained.
40:50 – Additional contextual considerations.
44:14 – Overview of tools learned
45:11 – Questions
About Webinar guest:
Nikki is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who uses a mix of emotionally-focused, solution-focused, and cognitive behavioral therapy to help couples, individuals and families. She also offers Zoom support groups for various topics and guest speaks on podcasts, and at events. She also shares inspiration and education on Instagram. She’s written articles that have been published on KSL, Family Share, and LDS Living. She has had lots of personal experience with finding healthy relationships, and is passionate about helping couples and individual heal through finding connection.
Webinar Guest Links:
https://nikkiharmontherapy.com/
https://thefamilytherapyclinic.com/
Insights:
Lovers are hidden regulators of our body processes and emotional lives.
Invites:
1. Next time you go to give a compliment, try to do it in an “I” statement form.
2. To slow down the conversation, do a role play with reflective listening and then acknowledge and apologize.
3. Put yourself into the Conflict Cycle, analyze where you lie in this model and why you are stuck there.
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