Marriage is a Contradiction - Dr. Wally Goddard, PhD
Marriage is a contradiction. It provides some of the sweetest and most enriching experiences possible. At the same time, it frustrates many people and often ends in bitter divorce or agonizing unhappiness. Join us as Wally answers these questions: 1. Why the contradiction? 2. How can we change our mindset to have more companionship and less contention?
Time Markers
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Wallace Goddard?
3:48- Marriage is a Contradiction!
4:09- Yes! I Have Faults, But...
5:39- The Dilemma of Marriage: Two Incompatible Truths
5:47- Truth #1: We Feel Profound Love for Each Other
6:00- Truth #2: We Make Each Other Crazy
6:21- The Dilemma: We Can’t Stand to Be a Part and We Can’t Stand to Be Together
7:03- What Do We Do? Fight? Divorce? Or...
7:23- To Have a Good Marriage, We Must Change the Way We Think
7:50- We Are All Biased in the Way We See Things
8:37- Bias: The Beams in Our Eyes
11:37- Bias: Naïve Realism
13:14- Bias: Unreliable Memories
15:48- Recognize our Biases: Fundamental Attribution Bias
17:45- Everyone's Miserable When We Impose our Rules and Perceptions on the World
18:10- Some Common Growth Opportunities
22:45- Lola Walters: The Grapefruit Syndrome
25:22- The Solution is Not to Clearly and Fairly Express our Complaint
26:26- Where Do You Focus?
29:10- Can We Fix the Irritations?
31:10- Where Will You Keep Your Focus?
31:46- Each Relationship Has its Own Set of Unresolvable Differences
33:18- “Start a Dialogue with our Unresolvable Differences.”
34:25- “Make Creative Use of our Differences.”
34:58- Focus on the Positives, 5:1 Positive Interaction to Negative Interaction Ratio
37:20- Pre-forgive Your Spouse for Being Different than You
38:55- Positive Illusions
40:08- The Best Way to Have a Good Marriage is to Be a Good Person
41:00- Love Our Spouses and Fix Ourselves
46:28- We Can Become Gracious, Loving People
46:57- Getting Our Marriages Right: Free Programs
47:33- Getting Our Marriages Right: Book Recommendations
48:20- Live Q&A
About Webinar guest:
Wally Goddard has spent the last several decades helping individuals and families find more happiness and harmony. During his career as a professor of Family Life in Alabama and Arkansas, he developed creative and award-winning programs on personal well-being, marriage, and parenting. Wally created a television series on parenting for public television and has authored or co-authored a dozen books. He has written regular columns for Meridian Magazine for many years and has recently published a book titled Discoveries: Essential Truths for Relationships. He was recognized for his professional work by being presented the Outstanding Family Life Educator Award. Wally and his wife, Nancy, have three adult children, fourteen grandchildren, and have cared for many foster children.
Webinar Guest Links:
Facebook: @HWallaceGoddard or @Dr. Wally
Email: TheWayPeopleWork@gmail.com
Website: drwally.com
Getting Our Marriages Right PDF: https://www.uaex.uada.edu/life-skills-wellness/personal-family-well-being/couples/
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