Healing Your Relationship After an Affair - Brooke Hansen
Licensed therapist Brooke Hansen shares hope and practical steps for couples healing from affairs. Drawing on Gottman research, she explains types of affairs, betrayal trauma, and the healing process through atonement, emotional attunement, and rebuilding trust. Participants learn communication skills, validation strategies, and ways to foster long-term connection in relationships after betrayal.
Time Markers
00:00:08 – Welcome and introduction of Brooke Hansen
00:01:44 – Brooke shares her passion for helping couples heal
00:03:02 – Brooke’s background and professional journey
00:03:54 – Introduction to the Gottmans’ research on couples
00:06:04 – Defining what an affair is today
00:07:36 – Affairs in polyamorous and monogamous relationships
00:08:37 – Four main types of affairs explained
00:09:04 – Stages of emotional affairs and dangers
00:11:10 – Turning away from your partner and comparisons
00:12:00 – Signs of emotional infidelity from the Gottmans
00:12:48 – Physical affairs and their variations
00:13:48 – Multiple affairs and their complexities
00:15:01 – Cyber affairs and their impact
00:15:40 – Deciding whether to stay or go after an affair
00:16:57 – Questions to ask when deciding about your relationship
00:18:10 – Risk factors and red flags for repeat affairs
00:20:06 – Understanding betrayal trauma and its impact
00:21:28 – How betrayal trauma affects the betrayed partner
00:23:04 – Healing is possible with commitment
00:23:54 – The atonement phase—why disclosure matters
00:26:25 – Common responses after disclosure of an affair
00:27:15 – How to listen effectively to your partner’s pain
00:30:25 – Using validation to strengthen connection
00:35:09 – Managing emotional flooding and setting time limits
00:36:10 – The attunement phase—addressing past issues
00:38:38 – Bids for connection and how to meet them
00:49:04 – The final phase—attaching and rebuilding connection
00:50:20 – Talking openly about sex and intimacy
00:51:22 – Rituals of connection for lasting bonds
00:52:18 – Marriage 2.0—finding hope after betrayal
00:53:09 – Brooke’s contact information and closing comments
00:53:27 – Final questions and CEU instructions
About Brooke Hansen:
My name is Brooke Hansen, and I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I received my master's degree in marriage and family therapy from Utah State University in 2020 and my Bachelor's in psychology 2016 from my same alma mater. While in school, I did different internships working with post-adopt families, children, families, and couples. I soon realized my passion for working with couple's and found myself taking a course from the Gottman's, who are the leading researchers in couple's counseling, that was based in helping couple's heal from trauma and affairs. And that is where my passion started. It is an amazing journey to start with couple's who are in the depths of pain and despair and see them draw closer together and become more in love than ever. That is one of the many reasons I love my job!
I started my own practice, Unity Counseling, in 2023 in Kaysville, Utah and have been working there full time since then. I am married to the love of my life and I have my other love, my son, who is three years old. We own a cute Cairn Terrier and have lived in Davis County, Utah for the last four years. I'm a Utah native and love the outdoors as well as a good fantasy book.
Brooke Hansen's Link:https://unitycounseling.clientsecure.me/
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