Growing Calm and Connection through Conflict - Stacy Jones, PhD.
Learn about why your brain and body responds the way it does when it comes to conflict, attachment, and emotion, and how to use this knowledge and the opportunity of conflict to grow emotionally closer with your partner!
Time Markers
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Dr. Stacy Jones
2:00 – Brain Sculpt app
6:00 – Two most critical needs for humans: calm and connection
6:50 – Calming the Flight or Fight response
8:30 – Nurturing calm and connection
8:55 – How do I become calmer?
11:00 – Competitive neuroplasticity
11:37 – Cardiac coherence breathing and movement
14:30 – Navigating continual stress on our brain
16:20 – Integrating bilateral stimulation
18:03 – Enhancing connection
19:00 – Where is connection built?
20:10 – What is offloading?
23:35 – The three strategies of vulnerability: Turn away, turn against, turn towards
26:35 – Vulnerability patterns throughout life
28:10 – It’s not about creating solutions, it is about not being alone in problems
31:00 – Moving from storms to resetting
31:50 – Changing our responses to vulnerable experiences
33:52 – Tending the heirloom garden
34:50 – Establishing self-empathy
36:21 – Calming the body helps create connection
39:00 – Respecting boundaries in our relationships
40:22 – Your vulnerability is my threat
41:46 – Hardships while moving towards vulnerability and calm
43:20 – Establishing safe physical proximity during conflict
44:00 – Allowing the body to experience stress positively
46:35 – Breathing, matching and mirroring
49:00 – Handling destructive behaviors in children
54:25 – Addressing conflict in our relationships
56:30 – Conflict with your spouse
59:28 – Building a resilient brain in your children
1:03:00 – When does offloading turn into abuse?
1:05:00 – Overcoming the storm without outside support
About Webinar guest:
Dr. Jones specializes in treating trauma, has been studying trauma for over 15 years, and has been trained in EMDR for over 10 years. She also does research on the neuroplasticity of the brain and in the role that bilateral movement plays in activating the right/left sides of the brain to enhance physical and emotional health. Over the past 13 years, Dr. Jones has worked with couples, families, and individuals from nearly every walk of life and with nearly every presenting concern imaginable.
Webinar Guest Links:
Insights:
When someone opens up to you practice turning towards them and our vulnerability. This will engage self-empathy and make space for the emotions around the problems. When you turn towards others you are broadening their ability to turn towards you as well, which will bolster support for yourself and for your support system.
Invites:
- Download the Brain Sculpt app to engage bilateral stimulation. Take more than one hour this week to bolster your mental health needs.
- Practice staying close to those you are in conflict with by asking those around you if they want to be touched before you touch them. If they do not, stay as close to them as they will allow to maintain safe physical proximity.
- Turn towards yourself by establishing a self-care/self-empathy practice this week.
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