118: Daily Acts of Love Build Strong Intimate Marriages
Podcast Guest: Alexandra Solomon
February 3rd, 2025
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a renowned relationship expert, joins Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm to discuss daily practices for love, relational self-awareness, and fostering intimacy. The conversation dives into overcoming relationship stagnation, understanding family of origin influences, and managing differences in relationship work. Learn how small, intentional actions and curiosity can transform your marriage into a thriving, intimate partnership.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:04 - Introduction to Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Meet the expert on relational self-awareness and intimacy.
01:49 - Why Love Requires Daily Practice
Small, consistent actions over grand gestures.
05:28 - Relational Self-Awareness Explained
Understanding yourself for stronger relationships.
07:22 - Tips for Self-Awareness
Catching emotional triggers and pausing.
09:43 - Approaching Intimacy Challenges Together
Emotional, sexual, and intellectual intimacy.
13:00 - Breaking Relationship Stagnation
Fresh experiences and appreciating stability.
18:50 - Creating Space for Deeper Conversations
Using resources to enhance connection.
22:35 - When One Partner Is Less Invested
Balancing differences in relationship work.
27:26 - Family of Origin’s Impact on Relationships
How childhood experiences shape adult dynamics.
33:30 - Key to a Stronger Marriage Connection
Staying curious and humble about your partner.
34:34 - Takeaway of the Day
Study and understand your reactivity for growth.
Insights
Alexandra's
Be willing to study your reactivity. You know, the stuff that makes you feel tense, the stuff that makes you feel urgent, stuff that makes you feel kind of shut down or cynical or hopeless, to take a look at that and to and to be curious about what it what it's showing you about a place that you're stuck, or maybe something that you might need to ask for a bit differently than you have.
Liz’s
I have to admit, I spend probably a great majority of my time with couples on the here and now, the present and the future, and probably not nearly enough time on the past, the family of origin. But I love that you remind almost that we either put it in their place or it's going to run the show. So, it's really crucial to ask some of those key questions about each other's childhood and especially, especially your own.
Dave's
I love the idea that just that concept of consistency, of that compassion, that love, what are we going to do for us today? Getting out of those ruts, they require just intentionality. They require a lot of work. They really do, but the best things in life really do require effort and intentional thinking ahead. Yeah, let me check in with my wife today. Or, hey, what's on your mind, or what's stressful? Or what can I do for you? Those types of check ins regularly, making those deposits into those love buckets I think are, are critical.
About Alexandra:
Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, is internationally recognized as one of today's most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her framework of Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the globe. A couple’s therapist, speaker, author, and professor, Dr. Solomon is passionate about translating cutting-edge research and clinical wisdom into practical tools people can use to bring awareness, curiosity, and authenticity to their relationships. She is a clinician educator and a frequent contributor to academic journals, and she translates her academic and therapeutic experience to the public through her popular Instagram page, which has garnered over 200K followers. She is on faculty in the school of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University and is a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. Her hit podcast, Reimagining Love, reaches tens of thousands of listeners across the globe each week and features high-profile guests from the worlds of therapy, academia, and pop culture. She is the award-winning author of two books: Taking Sexy Back and Loving Bravely, which was featured on the TODAY show.
Alexandra's Resources
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/
PODCAST: Reimagining Love
IG: @dr.alexandra.so1omon
TWITTER: @AHSolomon
FB: https://www.facebook.com/dralexandrasolomon
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Dr. Liz Hale: