153: How Grief Impacts Identity, Love, and Daily Life
Podcast Guest: Alexandra Carroll
November 3rd, 2025
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
Grief advocate and author Alexandra Carroll shares real-life tools for navigating grief: debunking “five stages” myths, adding David Kessler’s “finding meaning,” building a personal grief calendar, practicing everyday self-care, and strengthening relationships through active listening, presence, and attunement during loss.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:00 Welcome & guest intro
00:57 Why grief matters now
02:25 Alexandra’s story of loss
09:27 Stages of grief, rethought
15:35 Grief isn’t one-size-fits-all
21:16 Why grief unnerves others
26:20 How to support a griever
32:03 Practical self-kindness ideas
37:24 Quiet time & media fasts
41:54 Grief reshapes milestones
50:09 Partnering through bereavement
55:27 Grief inside good marriages
1:01:27 Where to find Alexandra
1:03:01 Keys to connection
1:05:11 Takeaways of the day
1:08:49 Closing & resources
Insights
Alexandra's
Grief in relationships requires patience, growth, and compassion. It’s a lifelong process that changes both partners, demanding flexibility and understanding. True healing happens when you recognize grief not as pain, but as love without a home—love that still needs a safe place to land.
Liz’s
True support often comes through presence, not words. Simply showing up—attending, sitting quietly, or holding someone’s hand—speaks volumes. Talking less and listening more creates healing space. As the acronym W.A.I.T. reminds us, before speaking, pause and ask, “Why am I talking?”
Dave’s
The idea of a grief calendar and attunement emphasizes being mindful of meaningful dates—like birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays—that may resurface grief for someone. Staying aware of these moments shows deep care and empathy. Attunement means noticing what others are going through, being thoughtful, and offering quiet support when it matters most.
About Alexandra
I grew up in the Greater Boston area and, after over four decades of living in New England and the Mid-Atlantic, I moved to Oregon in 2023. I am a former adjunct professor of religion and have taught courses in Christianity, Buddhism, world religions, peace and conflict resolution, and ethics at St. Michael's College, George Washington University, Catholic University, and Marymount University.
I hold a Ph.D. in Theology and Religious Studies with a focus on how religious/spiritual psychological thought helps people heal suffering. Following my mother's unexpected death in 2015, my research turned toward grief and the grieving process. My mission is to share my experience of living-in-grief and investigate the culture of grief to normalize conversations about death, dying, and grieving.
When I'm not working or having adventures with my kiddo, I enjoy reading mystery novels, crocheting, playing curling, gardening, watching movies, traveling, exploring my new hometown, and spending time with my family and friends.
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