190: RThe One Relationship Skill Every Marriage Needs

Podcast Guest: Mike Elliott

August 17th, 2026

190 Mike Elliott

Listen to the Show:

In this Episode

Men are often expected to be strong, successful, and dependable while receiving little encouragement to express vulnerability or ask for support. Relationship coach Mike Elliott joins Dave and Liz to explore how emotional awareness, presence, and feeling heard and seen can transform relationships. Mike shares his Relational Authority framework, the importance of strong support systems, and a practical tool couples can use to create greater safety and connection. Learn why lasting relationship growth begins with taking responsibility for yourself and choosing devotion over domination.

“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”

Chapters

00:00 – Understanding Men and Relational Authority
03:18 – The Relational Authority Framework
05:09 – The Silent Struggle of Men
08:27 – When Men Become Under-Resourced
09:50 – Understanding Your Lived Experiences
13:20 – How Unresolved Triggers Affect Relationships
14:53 – Why Men Need Strong Brotherhood
18:02 – Recognizing Unresolved Trauma
20:08 – The Cost of Always Performing
21:14 – Balancing Becoming and Being
23:15 – What Partners Really Need
25:21 – The Heard and Seen Framework
27:08 – Logic Versus Emotional Connection
28:32 – The Power of Reassurance
29:48 – Slow Down and Become Present
35:27 – Vulnerability, Acknowledgment, and Reassurance
39:13 – Choosing Devotion Over Domination
40:26 – Redefining Leadership and Power
44:35 – Presence Beyond Performance
46:29 – Initiation, Integration, and Inspiration
52:43 – Creating Relationships Rooted in Care
55:23 – Takeaway of the Day

Insights

Mike Elliott: An under-resourced person can become reactive and disconnected. Take an honest inventory of your emotional, physical, and relational resources. Build supportive relationships, care for yourself, and develop the capacity to show up with greater safety and gentle power.
Liz Hale: Vulnerability, acknowledgment, and reassurance can deeply strengthen connection. The VAR framework offers a simple way to help your partner feel emotionally heard, seen, and safe.
Dave Schramm: Slow down and remember that people are more important than problems. Presence, attention, reassurance, and appreciation create meaningful connection, especially when partners feel valued for their efforts and sacrifices

About Mike Elliott:

Mike is a Relational Leadership Mentor and Men's Initiation Guide, working with men who want to have it all. He guides them to lead with Relational Authority anchored in initiation, integration, and inspiration. Having been adopted twice and walked through the dark night of divorce, he rebuilt his life from the inside out. Now co-host of "The Sacred We," he helps men transform their relationships-starting with themselves-and create legacies of love, presence, and purpose.