186: The Three Phases To Rebuild Trust After Infidelity
Podcast Guest: Dr. Bill Bumberry
June 22nd, 2026
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
Discovering infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences a couple faces. In this episode, Dr. Bill Bumberry shares practical guidance and hope for couples navigating betrayal trauma and rebuilding trust. Drawing on decades of clinical experience and the Gottman Method, Bill explains the three key phases of healing after infidelity—atonement, attunement, and attachment—and offers actionable strategies for restoring safety, connection, and commitment. Whether you're recovering from betrayal or looking to strengthen your relationship against future threats, this conversation provides valuable insight and encouragement.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Chapters
00:00 – Why Infidelity Hurts So Deeply
03:03 – Defining Infidelity and Betrayal
06:00 – Social Media and Modern Affairs
08:22 – Friendship Turning Into Affairs
12:00 – Setting Healthy Relationship Boundaries
13:26 – Betrayal Trauma and Emotional Impact
17:22 – Remorse, Compassion, and Healing
20:53 – Three Phases of Recovery
21:55 – Phase One: Atonement
26:00 – Phase Two: Attunement
28:25 – Phase Three: Attachment
31:26 – How Couples Drift Apart
33:06 – Talking to Children About Affairs
35:17 – Risk Factors for Infidelity
37:12 – Should Affairs Be Disclosed?
39:39 – Emotional vs. Sexual Affairs
43:08 – How Long Healing Takes
44:05 – Small Moments Build Connection
47:35 – Affair-Proofing Your Marriage
50:39 – Friendship, Loyalty, and Boundaries
55:06 – Remembering Your Love Story
56:52 – Takeaway of the Day
Insights
- Bill Bumberry: Healing begins when couples intentionally reconnect through everyday moments of connection. Remember your love story, notice the good in your partner, and actively express appreciation. Small moments of connection create powerful opportunities for healing and trust-building.
- Liz Hale: Infidelity creates a deep wound, but recovery is possible. Couples who are willing to do the work can rebuild trust, heal, and sometimes create an even stronger relationship than before.
- Dave Schramm: Relationships thrive through intentional effort. Avoid avoidance, invest in daily connection, and pay attention to the small interactions that communicate love, loyalty, and commitment.
About Dr. Bill Bumberry
With more than 25 years of experience working with couples, Dr. Bill Bumberry is a licensed psychologist dedicated to helping partners navigate relationship challenges and build stronger, more meaningful connections. Throughout a distinguished career, it has been both a privilege and a passion to work with couples who arrive in pain yet possess the courage and determination to address their struggles and create a healthier future together.
Recognizing that relationships are rarely easy, Dr. Bill Bumberry believes they can also be the source of life's greatest joy, fulfillment, and purpose. A central focus of the work is helping couples heal, reconnect, and rebuild trust—even in the aftermath of infidelity. The resilience and capacity for growth demonstrated by couples continue to inspire and inform the therapeutic process.
For more than two decades, Dr. Bill Bumberry has been affiliated with the Gottman Institute and is a Senior Certified Gottman Couples Therapist and Clinical Trainer. In addition to serving as an active member of the Gottman Institute's Speaker Bureau, Dr. Bill Bumberry mentors and consults with therapists across the United States and internationally who are pursuing certification as Gottman Therapists.
Training and mentoring emerging clinicians with sharp minds and compassionate hearts remains a cornerstone of the professional mission. As a Gottman Institute trainer, Dr. Bill Bumberry has presented professional trainings throughout the United States and abroad, equipping both experienced and early-career therapists with the skills and knowledge needed to effectively apply the Gottman Method in their work with couples.
Dr. Bill Bumberry's Resources:
Website: https://www.billbumberryphd.com/
Gottman Referral Network: https://gottmanreferralnetwork.com/therapists/william-bumberry
PESI Trainning Network: https://www.pesi.com/speaker/william-bumberry-7431?srsltid=AfmBOooXuHOTiX1kw3uWdtYVWBYrynQCUUKaTNSoNGF4z1v7C2DbJeGL
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