183: Why Embracing Vulnerability Is Key To Rebuilding Trust In Marriage
Podcast Guest: Josh Otani
June 1st, 2026
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
In this powerful episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm sit down with therapist Josh Otani to discuss how couples can begin rebuilding trust after pornography use, betrayal, and emotional disconnection. Josh explains why betrayal recovery is not just an individual issue, but a deeply relational process requiring vulnerability, emotional safety, curiosity, and intentional healing together. Couples will learn practical ways to move from shame and defensiveness toward understanding, empathy, and deeper connection.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Chapters
00:00 — Pornography As A Couple Issue
02:46 — Secrecy Creates Emotional Distance
07:50 — Emotional Cycles After Betrayal
15:35 — Fear Behind Withdrawal
20:02 — Why Secrecy Damages Trust
23:31 — Honesty Builds Emotional Safety
26:12 — Can Trust Be Rebuilt?
32:36 — Helpful Responses For Couples
39:53 — Defining Healing Together
41:48 — Rebuilding Emotional Safety
47:23 — First Steps Toward Hope
50:05 — Understanding Breeds Healing
51:06 — Healing Is Possible
52:05 — Liz’s Takeaway On Acceptance
52:55 — Dave’s Recovery Reminder
Insights
- Josh Otani: Healing is possible when couples choose vulnerability, curiosity, and understanding. Real connection grows when partners courageously face painful truths together instead of alone.
- Liz Hale: One of the most healing experiences in marriage is being fully known, fully accepted, and still deeply loved after betrayal and struggle.
- Dave Schramm: Betrayal trauma can feel devastating, but recovery is possible with patience, support, and professional guidance. Healing is a process, not an instant fix.
About Josh Otani
Josh Otani is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of Big Valley Therapy, where he specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from pornography addiction, betrayal trauma, and relationship distress. His approach integrates Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS), with a strong emphasis on creating safety, rebuilding trust, and fostering deep emotional connection.
Josh is passionate about guiding couples out of painful negative cycles and into secure, meaningful relationships. Drawing from both professional training and personal recovery experience, he brings authenticity, empathy, and real-world insight into the healing process. His work focuses on helping clients access their true, authentic selves and cultivate growth in every “valley” of life.
In addition to his clinical work, Josh creates content and resources to support individuals and couples navigating sexual compulsivity, infidelity, and intimacy challenges. He is currently developing educational materials and media content aimed at increasing awareness, reducing shame, and offering practical tools for lasting change.
Outside of therapy, Josh values personal growth, spirituality, and strengthening his own relationships.
Josh's Resources:
Website: https://bigvalleytherapy.com/
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