175: How To Help the Next Generation Break the Dating Recession
Podcast Guest: Alan Hawkins
April 6th, 2026
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
In this episode, Dr. Alan Hawkins joins the show to unpack the growing “dating recession” and why fewer young adults are actively dating—even though most still want marriage. The conversation explores how declining social skills, digital communication, fear of rejection, and lack of dating confidence are creating barriers to relationship formation. Dr. Hawkins shares research-backed insights on how dating shapes future marriages, why resilience and “relationship grit” matter, and how parents, educators, and individuals can help rebuild healthy dating skills.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:04 – Introduction to dating recession
02:19 – Why dating matters before marriage
03:32 – Broken “on-ramp” to marriage
05:18 – Only 30% actively dating
07:57 – Fear and lack of skills
10:48 – Digital world impacts social skills
12:24 – Low confidence in initiating dates
16:38 – Technology replacing real interaction
19:01 – Dating Ready course and resources
22:25 – Culture vs desire for relationships
24:00 – Money as dating barrier
26:55 – Negative experiences reduce dating
27:33 – Building relationship grit
31:47 – Need for national dating education
35:09 – Where to find research report
36:57 – Healthy dating leads to marriage
37:54 – Fixing the dating system
39:43 – Keep going and stay resilient
41:15 – Final encouragement and wrap-up
Insights
Alan's
Keep going. Dating is hard, but resilience matters—every experience can help you grow and prepare for a healthy relationship.
Liz’s
There is hope. Strong marriages are still very possible, especially with shared values and intentional effort.
Dave's
What matters most takes effort. Avoid the easy, “on-demand” shortcuts—real relationships require intentional time, energy, and commitment.
About Alan
Alan J. Hawkins, PhD, recently stepped down as the day-to-day manager of the Utah Marriage Commission. Before his service with the UMC, he was a professor at Brigham Young University in the School of Family Life for 33 years. He earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies at Pennsylvania State University in 1990. Professor Hawkins’ scholarship and outreach efforts focused on educational interventions and policies to help couples form and sustain healthy marriages and relationships and to help fathers be engaged in the lives of their children. Since 2000, he has been intricately involved in state and federal policy efforts to support relationship education programs for families. In 2002-2003, he was a visiting scholar with the Administration for Children and Families, working on the federal Healthy Marriage Initiative. He has served on the Utah Marriage Commission since 2004 and is a past-Chair of the Utah Marriage Commission. He currently serves as Vice-chair on the Board for the National Association for Relationship and Marriage Education. And he is a non-resident scholar with the Institute for Family Studies and an affiliated scholar with the Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University.
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