167: Unpause Your Marriage to go from Me to We
Podcast Guest: Lee Baucom
February 9th, 2026
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
In this episode, Dr. Lee Baucom shares practical tools to help couples “unpause” their marriage by shifting from a me mindset to a we team approach. He explores how disconnection happens, why awareness and personal responsibility matter, and how small, intentional habits can rebuild trust, emotional safety, and lasting connection—even if only one partner starts the change.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:00 – Introduction to unpausing marriage
02:45 – What is a “pause button” marriage
05:34 – Drifting apart without noticing
07:12 – Mindset shift: Me to We
09:46 – Small steps to reconnect
13:05 – Awareness and responsibility
13:51 – Power of personal empowerment
17:56 – Misdiagnosing relationship problems
20:46 – Disconnection behind common conflicts
21:09 – When your partner won’t engage
24:27 – Rebuilding emotional safety
28:14 – Curiosity builds empathy
28:33 – Thriving vs. surviving marriages
31:44 – Resources and Unpause app
33:32 – Key to stronger connection
34:43 – Competition vs. teamwork
37:40 – Takeaway: Be a “We”
Insights
Lee's
Be a we. Be on the team.
Liz’s
Curiosity helps you pause and explore your partner’s perspective instead of reacting. That curiosity naturally opens the door to empathy, making it easier to understand and connect rather than escalate.
Dave's
Lasting change starts with clarity about where you want to go, how to get there, and the humility-driven willingness to act for the good of “us,” not just “me.”
Lee's Resources
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: