144: Unpacking Bad Marriage Advice
Podcast Guest: Monica Tanner
September 2nd, 2025
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
In this episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection Podcast, hosts Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale welcome back Monica Tanner, relationship coach, podcaster, and author of Bad Marriage Advice: 15 Myths That Are Keeping You Miserable. Monica shares how her book began as a heartfelt letter to her newlywed son and daughter-in-law and evolved into a guide for all couples. She challenges harmful marriage clichés like “happy wife, happy life” and “don’t sweat the small stuff”, and instead offers healthier alternatives rooted in collaboration, communication, and conscious effort.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:00 – Introduction to Monica Tanner and her new book.
01:06 – Hosts share context and setup for the episode.
02:23 – How Monica’s book started as a wedding letter.
04:31 – The problem with happy wife, happy life.
07:55 – Toxic advice: “divorce is not an option.”
09:56 – Why compromise fails; collaboration as the better path.
13:55 – Monica’s best advice for newlyweds: early coaching.
17:48 – Which myth has the strongest hold: don’t sweat the small stuff.
19:43 – Helping couples unlearn harmful patterns with RLT.
25:38 – Cultural and generational differences in marriage expectations.
27:30 – Monica’s podcast, book, and resources.
28:18 – Key to stronger marriage: consciousness and communication.
29:12 – Takeaway: believe happily ever after is possible.
29:55 – Liz’s takeaway: collaboration and curiosity.
30:27 – Dave’s takeaway: pause, unlearn, and seek support.
32:06 – Closing thoughts and reminders from the hosts.
Insights
Monica's
Believing that happily ever after is possible is the first step toward creating it. Marriage is a place for growth where both partners learn and unlearn habits, embrace the good and the hard, and choose to keep building together. By holding onto hope and seeing marriage as a journey of transformation, couples can create intimacy, passion, and a lasting connection.
Liz’s
Avoid compromise and focus on collaboration. By staying curious about yourself and your partner, you open the door to growth, hope, and endless possibilities together.
Dave’s
Break free from old, reactive habits in marriage, especially early on. Instead of getting defensive, pause, stay curious, and choose a thoughtful response. Building healthier patterns takes work, but it’s worth it. Another powerful point is the value of finding a counselor or coach early—not as a last resort, but as a proactive support. Just like in sports or other areas of life, having a guide can help couples strengthen their relationship before issues become overwhelming.
About Monica:
Monica Tanner, RLT trained, Relationship Coach and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast, transforms marriages with simple communication, connection, conflict resolution and commitment strategies. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital satisfaction. Through her engaging podcast, new book, Bad Marriage Advice, vibrant social media community, and couple’s coaching practice, Monica's expert guidance has impacted thousands of couples, by helping them ditch resentment and roommate syndrome and get back to living their happily ever after love story.
Monica's Resources:
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: