138: Transforming Conflict Into Connection
Podcast Guest: Chad Ford
June 23rd, 2025
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
In this episode, Dr. Nathan Leonhardt dives into resilience in relationships—how couples bounce back from trauma, grow through adversity, and flourish through meaning, virtues, and connection. He unpacks the science of flourishing marriages, emotional healing, transcendent experiences, and the vital role of virtues, religion, and sexuality in marital strength.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:03 – What is resilience?
02:00 – Capital R vs. lowercase r resilience
06:00 – Safe haven and stressor in marriage
07:45 – ABC-X model explained
10:00 – Resources and asking for help
12:00 – Power of perception in adversity
14:00 – Acute vs. chronic stressors
17:30 – Adapting to different stressors
18:30 – What is flourishing?
21:00 – Flourishing vs. satisfaction
22:00 – Attachment styles and fulfillment
25:00 – Happiness tied to connection
27:00 – Sexuality, religion, and virtue
30:00 – Sexual satisfaction and depth
33:00 – Transcendence as healing
36:00 – Virtues over just communication
39:00 – Inspiring examples of strong couples
44:00 – Final takeaways and encouragement
Insights
Chad’s
Conflict isn’t bad—it can actually strengthen your relationship when handled well. Avoiding or mismanaging it causes harm, but approaching it skillfully deepens love and connection. Like learning to fly, mastering conflict requires practice and commitment.
Liz’s
I love both books, but 70x7 stands out with its powerful message about the risk of embrace and the four steps—being open, waiting, embracing, and letting go. That beautiful reminder will stay with me all day.
Dave’s
What stood out to me is the metaphor of the stones—not holding onto resentment or attacking, but letting go completely. It’s about replacing judgment with kindness, compassion, and what you call “dangerous love”—open, vulnerable, and willing to embrace even when it risks pain. Such a powerful and meaningful message.
About Chad:
Chad Ford is an international conflict mediator, facilitator, and peace educator.
While most people know him for his work at ESPN, being a basketball analyst and writer was actually his side-gig for most of the last two decades. Chad’s peacebuilding work is what defines him.
After completing a Master’s degree in Conflict Analysis and Resolution from George Mason University and a Juris Doctorate from Georgetown University Law School in 2000, Chad was poised to begin his career as a conflict mediator and facilitator.
Chad served as the Director of the David O. McKay Center for Intercultural Understanding at BYU-Hawaii. for nearly twenty years where he created a major and certificate program in intercultural peacebuilding.
In 2024, Chad left his position at BYU-Hawaii to join the faculty at Utah State University. Chad is serving a joint appointment with the Religious Studies department and the Heravi Peace Institute. Chad teaches courses in Religion, Violence and Peace; Bridging Religious Differences; Introduction to Peacebuilding; and Transformative Mediation.
Chad’s work has frequently taken him out of the classroom and into conflict zones around the world. He’s made more than 50 trips to the Middle East and has worked on numerous other conflicts around the world in Ireland, Cyprus, South Africa, New Zealand, Australia, Oceania, China and throughout the United States, as both a mediator and a facilitator. Chad has served as a speaker and conflict facilitator for numerous organizations — working with governments, NGOs and corporations like Nike and the US Olympic team. He’s been able to combine his expertise on both sports and conflict by serving as an executive board member of the non-profit peacebuilding organization PeacePlayers.
Chad's Resources:
https://chadford.substack.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: