137: Resilience in Marriage: Navigating Stressors Together
Podcast Guest: Nathan Leonhardt
June 16th, 2025
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
Dr. Nathan Leonhardt shares powerful insights on resilience, trauma, flourishing relationships, and the role of virtues, religion, and sexuality in long-term relational health. Learn how couples can move from trauma to transcendence, reframe challenges, and build meaningful connection through research-backed strategies. A must-listen for anyone looking to strengthen their marriage through emotional depth and personal growth.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:03 – What is resilience and why it matters
02:00 – Capital “R” vs lowercase “r” resilience
06:30 – Couples as safe havens and stressors
07:50 – ABC-X model of family resilience
10:00 – Role of resources and asking for help
12:30 – How perception shapes stress response
14:00 – Acute vs. chronic stressors
17:20 – Applying resilience to different stress types
18:30 – What it means to “flourish” in a relationship
21:50 – Attachment styles and satisfaction
22:20 – Why meaning matters more than happiness
25:00 – Individual vs. relational views of happiness
27:05 – Religion, sexuality, and virtues in resilience
30:30 – Healthy sexual relationships: 3 key areas
33:40 – Transcendence as opposite of trauma
36:20 – Role of virtues beyond communication
39:10 – Inspiring relationships as models
44:20 – Final takeaway: “We all need people”
45:30 – Anchoring relationships in meaning over happiness
46:30 – Closing thoughts and gratitude
Insights
Nathan’s
Relationships are complex, and no one is entirely whole or entirely broken. We all need support, connection, and a little help from others to build resilience and face life together.
Liz’s
It's powerful to remember that no one is fully whole or fully broken—we need each other. True fulfillment comes from seeking meaning in life and relationships, not just chasing happiness.
Dave’s
The idea of resilience as both “capital R” and “lowercase r” is powerful, but the biggest takeaway is the concept of moving from trauma to transcendence. Just as adverse experiences shape us, so can deeply inspiring people, moments, or music. These transcendent experiences can motivate us to grow and become better partners and parents.
About Nathan:
Nathan D. Leonhardt is an Assistant Professor of Family Life at Brigham Young University. He studies virtues and flourishing in close relationships and teaches a course about resilience in family life. He has over fifty academic publications, and his research has been featured in popular news outlets such as Psychology Today, Daily Mail, CNN, and Men’s Health. He was a Vanier scholar at the University of Toronto and a visiting scholar at the University of California, Berkeley.
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