130: The Imago Connection: Transforming Conflict into Growth
Podcast Guest: Mary Kay Cocharo
April 28th, 2025
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, renowned couples therapist Mary Kay Cocharo shares powerful insights from Imago and Encounter-Centered Therapy. Learn how early childhood experiences shape adult relationships, how conflict can become a path to healing, and practical tools like the 18-inch gaze and intentional dialogue to strengthen emotional connection and communication. This episode is packed with actionable strategies backed by neuroscience to help couples move from power struggles to mature love.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:03 – Mary Kay introduces Imago therapy and how past childhood wounds affect romantic attraction.
02:32 – Learn about romantic love, the power struggle, and the path to mature love.
11:27 – Even secure upbringings bring relational baggage into adult partnerships.
14:36 – A moving example of how deeper meaning under conflict can lead to empathy and connection.
20:58 – Overview of ECC and the “three invisible connectors” that foster deep couple connection.
29:23 – Understanding the brain’s role in emotional reactivity and communication breakdowns.
36:59 – How couples can grow by understanding fight/flight responses and childhood adaptation styles.
43:52 – Healing begins when we stop blaming and start caring for the emotional space between us.
45:29 – How gazing into each other's eyes can shift brain chemistry and build closeness.
48:50 – Scientific proof that connection through eye contact can rewire the brain and deepen love.
Insights
Mary Kay’s
The key to relationship growth is focusing on the dynamic between partners—not blaming each other, but sharing feelings and seeking understanding.
Liz’s
The key takeaway is the powerful prompt: “This feeling I have right now reminds me of…”—a tool for deeper connection.
Dave’s
The speaker is new to Imago therapy but is eager to try practical tools—especially the 18-inch “bridge” eye gaze—with their partner.
About Mary Kay:
Mary Kay Cocharo, LMFT, stands out from her colleagues through her unique approach to therapy. She helps couples through the lenses of Imago Relationship Therapy and Encounter-centered Couples Transformation, both proven methods for improving communication and intimacy in relationships.
Her brand offers intensive all-day or two-day sessions, workshops, and weekend retreats for couples - a service not provided by many of her competitors. This allows couples to fully immerse themselves in the therapeutic process without the distractions of daily life in a relaxing setting.
Mary Kay also offers premarital counseling packages and one-day workshops that help couples prepare for marriage. This proactive approach is designed to prevent issues from arising in the future and has been shown to reduce divorce by 30%.
Unlike many online platforms or self-guided programs that may lack a personal touch or tailored approach, Mary Kay Cocharo provides individualized attention to each client's specific needs and concerns. This personalized attention ensures that each couple gets the targeted help they need for their unique situation.
She’s soon releasing Connect-Communicate-Create, a Card Deck to Deepen your Bond and Transform your Relationship. Available as a physical deck and on Deckible, it helps couples strengthen their physical and emotional connection.
Mary Kay's Resources
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: