129:How Digital Tools Are Transforming Modern Relationships
Podcast Guest: Brian Doss
April 21st, 2025
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
In this episode, Dr. Brian Doss, relationship expert and co-founder of the OurRelationship program, shares how digital tools are transforming couples therapy. He introduces the DEEP framework—Differences, Emotions, External Stress, and Patterns of Communication—which helps couples better understand and improve their relationships. Learn how this science-backed, flexible, and accessible online resource helps couples enhance emotional connection, navigate stress, and develop healthier communication patterns. This episode is packed with tools for strengthening marriage and improving well-being.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:00 Why online resources are booming
03:09 Evolution of the OurRelationship program
04:38 Light vs. deep relationship tools
05:44 What the program offers couples
06:57 Who OurRelationship is designed for
08:19 What makes it different from other tools
10:00 Time commitment and coaching options
12:19 DEEP framework overview
13:24 “D” – Understanding differences
14:32 “E” – Emotions: surface vs. hidden
17:02 “E” – Impact of external stress
17:55 “P” – Destructive communication patterns
21:20 Getting off relationship autopilot
23:02 Tips: invisible support and gratitude
25:40 Why gratitude helps overcome resentment
27:52 Autopilot vs. action in relationships
28:25 Where to find OurRelationship and free access
30:34 Key to a stronger marriage connection
32:07 Takeaway: don’t wait to get help
33:28 Final reflections from Liz and Dave
36:11 Wrap-up and call to action
Insights
Brian’s
It’s okay for couples to experience frustration or go on autopilot sometimes—but if you begin to feel disconnected, like strangers, or constantly argue without resolution, it’s time to seek help. Don’t wait years; addressing relationship issues early makes them easier to resolve.
Liz’s
Many couples fear they married the wrong person when facing repeated struggles—but this is common and natural. Hope comes from realizing challenges are normal and support, even small “invisible” acts of kindness, can strengthen connection.
Dave’s
The DEEP model helps couples look beyond surface behaviors to understand hidden emotions and unmet needs. By focusing on differences, emotions, external stress, and patterns of communication, couples can stop reacting and start truly connecting.
About Brian:
Dr. Doss is a Professor of Psychology and Director of the OurRelationship program. His research focuses on ways to use digital technologies to improve couples’ romantic relationships – with a special focus on low-income couples, couples in which one person is a veteran or active-duty service member, and couples in which one person is a breast cancer survivor.
Dr. Doss has received grants from the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the Administration for Children and Families (ACF), and the Patient-Centered Outcomes Research Institute (PCORI). He teaches undergraduate and graduate classes on couple therapy and romantic relationships. His research is focused on ways to increase the reach of couple interventions, including online interventions (www.OurRelationship.com), apps, and a self-help book titled Reconcilable Differences. Dr. Doss’ research has been cited on The Today Show, CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times, the Miami Herald, and elsewhere.
Brian's Resources
https://www.ourrelationship.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: