126: Betrayal Trauma: Finding Hope After Infidelity
Podcast Guest: David Jones
March 31st, 2025
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
In this episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast, Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with licensed marriage and family therapist David Jones to explore the painful topic of betrayal trauma caused by infidelity. Dave explains why infidelity is considered trauma and offers practical, research-backed tips for healing. With compassion and clarity, he outlines three pillars for recovery—boundaries, coping/self-care, and connection—emphasizing that while every healing journey is unique, hope is always possible. Whether you’re a betrayed partner, the one who betrayed trust, or a supportive friend, this episode offers valuable insights for finding hope, rebuilding trust, and restoring emotional safety.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:04 – Introduction to betrayal trauma
02:03 – Meet therapist David Jones
02:50 – What betrayal trauma really means
04:36 – Betrayal as an altered reality
06:05 – What makes betrayal trauma unique
09:34 – Self-blame and trauma symptoms
11:21 – How couples begin to heal
13:20 – Three legs of healing
13:36 – Leg 1: Boundaries and safety
14:36 – Leg 2: Coping and self-care
15:37 – Leg 3: Connection and support
17:02 – Who to tell and why
19:16 – How to be a good friend
21:43 – Stories of healing and hope
23:38 – Vulnerability strengthens recovery
25:26 – Forgiveness vs. rebuilding trust
26:56 – Can healing happen after divorce?
29:15 – About Secure Connection Counseling
29:41 – Key to a stronger connection
34:36 – Final thoughts and hope ahead
Insights
David’s
Betrayal trauma is a real and valid form of trauma—an altered sense of reality. Healing is absolutely possible, with or without the relationship.
Liz’s
Forgiveness is a gift to yourself—not the same as trust. Healing in marriage comes through mutual effort, honesty, and emotional growth.
Dave’s
Self-care isn't selfish—it's essential for healing. Every betrayal trauma journey is unique, with no set timeline. Connection and support matter.
About David:
David Jones is dedicated to helping families and marriages thrive, shaped by his own experiences with divorced parents and his father's struggle with alcoholism. His marriage to Melodie and their blended family of 8 children further fuels his commitment to therapy. A Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and Family Life Educator, David specializes in betrayal trauma, sexual addiction, infidelity, and ADHD-related challenges. His expertise is grounded in attachment theory, emphasizing secure relationships for healing. As a university instructor and Army Reserve Chaplain, he offers a broad perspective. Clients often praise his methods for “saving their marriage,” reflecting his deep dedication.
David's Resources
https://secureconnectioncounseling.com/
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