124: Hidden Toll: How Conflict and Divorce Impact Children
Podcast Guest: Jenet Erikson
March 17th, 2025
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
In this episode, Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm talk with Dr. Jenet Erikson about the profound effects of marriage, conflict, and divorce on children. Drawing from research and personal experience, Jenet shares insights on how strong marriages benefit children and how divorce—especially high-conflict separations—affects their emotional and psychological well-being. They discuss the importance of creating stability, maintaining family rituals, and the power of being seen, known, and loved. This episode offers valuable perspectives for couples navigating marital struggles, divorced parents striving to support their children, and individuals seeking to build healthier relationships.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:03 - Dr. Jenet Erickson discusses how marriage impacts children and the family as a whole.
02:45 - She shares how growing up in a large family shaped her passion for family relationships.
04:43 - New research confirms that stable marriages provide essential foundations for children.
08:55 - Beyond financial stability, strong marriages give children emotional security and belonging.
11:38 - The pros and cons of remaining in an unhappy marriage for the sake of children.
14:32 - How to differentiate between normal marital struggles and damaging, irreparable situations.
16:26 - How children, even into adulthood, are impacted by parental separation.
18:54 - Parental arguments disrupt children’s sense of safety, affecting their emotions and health.
20:15 - Steps parents can take to help children adjust and maintain emotional stability.
23:21 - How adult children experience parental divorce later in life.
25:25 - How children of divorce can build healthy relationships and strong marriages.
28:58 - Research-backed tips on reducing divorce risk and building a lasting relationship.
31:55 - Recognizing that all relationships have challenges and learning how to navigate them.
35:22 - True intimacy comes from understanding and loving each other through all seasons.
37:41 - Self-awareness, emotional regulation, and a commitment to growth sustain healthy marriages.
39:35 - Prioritizing relationships and personal growth leads to deep, lasting connections.
41:39 - Happiness comes from meaningful relationships, which require patience, effort, and understanding.
Insights
Jenet’s
Relationships are the essence of life. True happiness comes from love, and the effort to build strong relationships is always worth it. Growth and change are necessary, but they fulfill our deepest desire for connection.
Liz’s
Relationships will always have challenges because we are different, but we are designed for love and deep connection, making the effort worthwhile.
Dave’s
A strong relationship starts with a strong individual. By first seeking personal growth and healing, we become better able to connect, support, and love others. True intimacy comes from being seen, known, and loved.
About Jenet:
Jenet Erickson, an associate professor in the Department of Church History and Doctrine in BYU Religious Education, teaches The Eternal Family (REL 200) course as well as Introduction to Family Process (SFL 160) for the School of Family Life.
Her research has focused on maternal and child well-being in the context of work and family life, as well as the distinct contributions of mothers and fathers in children's development. Her work has been featured in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, U.S. News and World Report, Slate Magazine, and the Today Show. She has authored more than 20 scientific articles and book chapters and presented at national and international conferences. In 2004, she was selected as a Social Science Research Fellow for the Heritage Foundation where she completed research analyses on non-maternal care for policymakers. Erickson received B.S. and M.A. degrees from BYU, and a Ph.D. in Family Social Science from the University of Minnesota. She is currently a research fellow of both the Wheatley Institution and the Institute for Family Studies and has been a columnist on family issues for the Deseret News since 2013.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: