104: Love for Mental Illness
Podcast Guest: Andy Hogan
October 28th, 2024
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In this Episode
In this insightful episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, hosts Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale welcome licensed mental health counselor Andy Hogan, who shares his personal journey with mental illness and how it has influenced his work with others. Andy introduces his REACH acronym—a powerful tool designed to support both those living with mental illness and their loved ones. The discussion dives into the importance of love over fear in the healing journey, methods to recognize and manage symptoms, and ways to build empathy and connection. Learn how to better support mental health with compassion and understanding.
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:00 – Introduction to Andy Hogan
01:10 – Why “Love for Mental Illness” matters
02:56 – Andy’s river rapids metaphor
06:19 – Andy’s early experience with mental illness
13:38 – Family history and support with mental illness
17:52 – How fear complicates recovery
23:44 – Importance of humility in relationships
30:00 – REACH: Recognize symptoms
33:18 – REACH: Emerge from isolation
38:02 – REACH: Authenticate self
47:13 – REACH: Control illness as able
52:27 – REACH: Heighten life and relationships
55:53 – Key takeaway for stronger connections
Insights
Andy's
The thing you can do to help someone with mental illness or to help yourself, if you're the one, if you recognize mental illness in yourself, the thing you can do is to face your fears and learn to love in your thoughts, in your beliefs and in your actions, there is something you can do, and it works, it helps. That is the thing you can do for mental illness, is give love. Give love for mental illness.
Liz’s
I love this whole fear, this whole idea about fear really creates more pain, creates more separation, but that love and acceptance would create, that's what creates health and connection. They stuff that was really beautiful. I'm going to think differently about mental illness because of our time with you, Andy.
Dave's
I love the reach acronym. Our illness doesn't define us. It is our feelings. All that we're struggling with doesn't define us.
About Andy Hogan:
Andrew personally suffered a manic psychosis breakdown while serving a mission in Taiwan. He was tranquilized and woke up in a hospital in Provo. During a month-stay in the hospital, his high school sweetheart decided to end their relationship. They never talked about why, she just slowly made less and less contact and avoided him over a period of time. 3 years later, Andrew became so desperate for an answer, he proposed. She said, "I can't." This was his rock bottom moment, where the choice was either stop living or start to REACH.
REACH is the acronym for the steps Andrew took personally, and the steps he later would teach professionally of how to find love for mental illness.
- Recognize the source of my symptoms.
- Emerge from denial and isolation.
- Authenticate self and mental illness.
- Control the disorder as we are able.
- Heighten our lives.
While learning to REACH, Andrew started dating again. On his first date with Sariah who had also served a mission in Taiwan, he told her he was the one who went crazy on the island. She replied, "That was you?" She had served in a different mission over a year after his breakdown, but she had heard about the missionary who went crazy. After our date, Sariah talked to her parents who said, "If you decide to love him, we will love him too." They chose to give love for mental illness and Sariah courageously decided to keep dating me. Their marriage started as a choice for love instead of a reaction to fear of mental illness. Making that choice again and again for going-on 30 years now, is how REACH has made for happiness and growing connection in their relationship.
Andy Hogans Resources:
Youtube: @ReachAndyHogan
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