102: Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Marriage

Podcast Guest: Boone Christianson & Kaprena Moore

October 14th, 2024

102: Establishing Healthy Boundaries In Marriage

Listen to the Show:

In this Episode

In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with marriage therapists Boone Christensen and Kaprina Moore to discuss how couples can establish and maintain healthy boundaries in their relationships. They explain what boundaries look like in marriage, why they’re important, and how to effectively communicate them. Boone and Kaprina share real-life examples and provide tips on dealing with common boundary issues, including emotional safety, parenting, and handling conflicts. The episode highlights how boundaries can foster love, respect, and protection, rather than control.

“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”

Time Markers

00:03 - Introduction to boundaries

01:00 - Boone and Kaprina’s background

02:52 - What are boundaries?

10:47 - Boundaries in marriage explained

13:10 - Examples of boundary-setting

17:00 - Communicating boundaries effectively

20:39 - Why boundaries are for self-protection

25:24 - Common boundary conflicts

30:37 - Consequences of unclear boundaries

39:28 - Boundaries with adult children

47:10 - Repairing boundary ruptures

52:34 - Keys to a stronger marriage connection

55:10 - Takeaway of the day: Boundaries as protection

Insights

Boone’s

I'd say boundaries are the things you do to protect yourself and keep yourself healthy. They are nothing that you expect anybody else to do anything about.

Kaprena’s

When boundaries are about changing and manipulating your partner, they are poisonous. When they are about protecting yourself, they can convey love.

Liz’s

I think boundaries really are about safety. It's not just my feelings, but my partner's feelings. I just I do think of a cocoon a little bit when I think of a boundary or fenced in area where we're both inside, and it's not about the rupture, it's about making room for both of us.

Dave's

I think that the boundaries perhaps can change. Is that possible over time? Is more understanding and his development and his relationship changes, still to have protection, but there may not be boundaries now we're okay. We need to adjust this. If I have a child that's living at home, or if there's a an accident or mental health or struggles or things okay, we need to adjust the boundaries here of what's happening to keep that protection in place.

About Boone Christianson & Kaprena Moore:

Boone and Kaprena own Steps Family Therapy in Spanish Fork, where they conduct individual, couple, and family therapy. They both performed qualitative research in graduate school on the role of clergy in mental health and relational issues. When not doing therapy or spending time with their two kids, Boone loves camping, fishing, and reading research on therapist development. Kaprena loves planning events, writing music, and yoga. They are both consultants for the mental health company, Mindless.

Boone Christianson & Kaprena Moore's Resources: 

https://stepsfamilytherapy.blogspot.com/ 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi-arWqLeN8giEgBKTyU-1w 

https://www.instagram.com/therapy_with_boone_lmft/ 

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