093: Positive Habits for a Stronger Marriage
Podcast Guest: Vagdevi Meunier
August 12th, 2024
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In this Episode
In this informative episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast, hosts Dave Schramm and Liz Hale discuss the intersection of positive psychology and Gottman research on marriage with Dr. Vagdevi Meunier. Dr. Meunier, a licensed psychologist and clinical assistant professor, shares insights on how couples can increase positivity in their relationships, explains the PERMA model from positive psychology, and discusses why 85% of couples report not having fun in their marriage anymore. Learn practical tips for fostering positivity, engagement, and connection in your relationship, and discover the importance of buffering your relationship from external stress.
#marriage #Gottman #positivepsychology #fun
“The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”
Time Markers
00:00 - Introduction to the episode and Dr. Vagdevi Meunier.
01:16 - Liz Hale welcomes Dr. Meunier and introduces the topic of positive psychology.
02:36 - Dr. Meunier explains the basics of positive psychology.
03:51 - Discussion on why the field of psychology has traditionally focused on negativity.
04:26 - The historical context of psychology and its focus on suffering.
08:13 - Gottman’s research on master couples and the five to one ratio.
09:51 - The role of positivity in master couples’ relationships.
12:08 - Tips for couples stuck in negativity to become more positive.
17:00 - The importance of rehearsing positive thoughts and gratitude.
17:17 - The role of fun in relationships and the Gottman checkup database findings.
20:51 - Strategies for rekindling fun and joy in marriage.
21:31 - Applying Seligman’s PERMA model.
33:04 - Importance of celebrating achievements.
33:45 - Capitalizing on technology to enhance relationships.
39:54 - The value of stress-reducing conversations.
45:31 – Dr. Meunier’s key to a stronger marriage connection.
48:12 - Dr. Meunier’s takeaway of the day.
48:43: Liz’s takeaway of the day.
49:07: Dave’s takeaway of the day.
Insights:
Vagdevi’s
It doesn't take a lot of time to make a difference, to increase positivity in your relationship, whether you're separated from your partner or in the same room with them. You can harness technology or you can just practice that engagement and positive emotions when you're face to face. And a little bit goes a long way. And our motto in Gottman work is "small things often."
Dave’s
Couples can manage external stress effectively by working together as a team, preventing it from affecting their relationship. Despite coming home stressed, it's crucial not to take it out on each other. Although challenging, it's possible to remain kind even when frustrated or angry, highlighting the importance of choosing kindness in maintaining a strong relationship.
Liz’s
I love the statement, "Darling, I'm hurting. Will you help me?" That was quite beautiful instead of the attack. It's just like, and having really that good feeling between us. Right? Like, I know you love me and I love you. Trust. That's trust, I believe.
About Vagdevi Meunier:
Dr. Vagdevi Meunier (“Dr. V”) is a licensed clinical psychologist & Certified Master Gottman Therapist with over 30 years of experience in counseling, education & clinical consultation. Since 2000, she has held a Clinical Assistant Professorship at The University of Texas in Austin & previously taught as a professor at St. Edwards University for over 10 years. Dr. Meunier specializes in relationship therapy, specifically with couples & families. She has an extensive history & passion for multicultural psychology, especially eastern influences on psychological practice & cross-cultural relationship research.
As a Master Gottman Couples therapist & Professional Trainer for The Gottman Institute since 2006, Dr. Vagdevi Meunier leads “The Art and Science of Love” couples workshops locally in Austin, throughout the United States, as well as, Internationally. Dr. V has presented professionally in the US, Canada & India & incorporates mindfulness, neurobiology & positive psychology into her psychoeducational lectures. Dr. V published a chapter on Positive Couple Relationships from evidence based research around the world and has written several articles on the Gottman method of couples therapy.
Dr. Vagdevi Meunier is the founder & Executive Director of The Center for Relationships. She is the Advisor to all TCFR doctoral level trainees & therapist team members. Her mission behind TCFR is to promote and provide a community counseling, training & outreach center that specializes in helping relationships to flourish based on leading best practices and relationship science. The Counseling services & educational programs at TCFR include couples intensives, retreats, groups & community forums to support healthy relationships, conflict management & trust recovery.
Vagdevi Meunier’s Resources:
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