083: Keeping Your Marriage Strong

Podcast Guest: Arlene Pellicane

083: Keeping your Marriage Strong

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In this Episode

In today’s episode, hosts Liz Hale and Dave Schramm talk with Arlene Pellicane, an author and speaker specializing in marriage and parenting. As the national spokesperson for National Marriage Week, Arlene shares insightful tips for nurturing a strong marital connection. The discussion emphasizes daily connections, weekly date nights, and the significance of prioritizing marriage in today's world. 

The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.”

Time Markers

0:00 Introduction to Arlene Pellicane and the topic of marriage strength. 
2:22 Arlene discusses National Marriage Week and why it’s important. 
5:30 Liz Hale adds her take on marriage longevity and asks about marriage statistics. 
10:16 Arlene addresses the need to inspire the younger generation about marriage. 
13:09 The importance of positively portraying marriage, even for single parents. 
17:24 Practical tips for enhancing marriage, like daily connections and weekly dates. 
22:06 Marriage maintenance and the importance of prioritizing the relationship. 
28:33 The primacy of the spousal relationship, especially during parenting years. 
32:39 Technology’s role in relationships and Arlene’s book “Calm, Cool and Connected.” 
35:47 Arlene shares her view on the key to a stronger marriage connection. 
37:28 Arlene’s takeaway of the day 
37:56 Liz’s takeaway of the day 
38:48 Dave’s takeaway of the day 



Arlene emphasizes the importance of having a service-oriented attitude in marriage, one that asks, "What can I do for you?" rather than "What can you do for me?" By focusing on small acts of kindness, like bringing a glass of water or leaving a loving note, you can demonstrate love and commitment to your spouse. This approach leads to an active and controllable part in the relationship, fostering appreciation and reciprocation from your partner. Arlene underscores the need to consistently prioritize your spouse's needs and to take the initiative in showing care and service. She expresses hope that listeners will recognize the value in their marriages, take active steps to cherish them, and thereby inspire future generations to value the institution of marriage. 


Dave appreciates Arlene's insights on maintaining an outward mindset and the importance of being intentional in marriage. He reflects on his parents' impressive 58-year marriage, recognizing it as a model for what he strives to achieve in his own family life. With his spouse and their four children, they make a concerted effort to show the importance of their marriage. They prioritize their relationship, with regular date nights, emphasizing to their children that their partnership is a priority. Dave acknowledges the need for planning and intentionality to prevent drifting apart in marriage, valuing daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly connections.   


Liz appreciates the concept that individuals can often get caught up in a mindset of expecting more from their partners without recognizing their own contributions. In her marriage therapy sessions, she frequently observes that when a person perceives they're not receiving enough from their partner, it's typically reflective of not giving enough themselves. This realization is a good foundation for addressing marital issues. Liz also highlights the decline in marriage rates from previous generations to millennials, and says that aunts, uncles, and parents bear a significant responsibility to promote the value of marriage. She stresses that it is crucial for them to model strong marriages themselves, to reinforce the positive message about marriage. 

About Arlene Pellicane:

Arlene Pellicane is the National Spokesperson for National Marriage Week. She's a top marriage and parenting author and speaker, and has appeared on several media outlets like the Today Show, Wall Street Journal, Focus on the Family, Fox & Friends, TLC’s Home Made Simple, FamilyLife Today, and The 700 Club. She’s also the host of the Happy Home podcast and the author of several books including 31 Days to a Happy Husband, and 31 Days to Becoming a Happier Wife. She is married to James, her husband of more than 25 years, and they have three children - Ethan, Noelle and Lucy. 

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