078: Making Marriage Work
Podcast Guest: Mark and Jill Savage
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
This episode highlights Mark and Jill Savage, a couple who have worked through some very difficult challenges in their marriage, including infidelity. They have been married nearly 40 years now. Together they share why they decided to make things work rather than divorce and open up about how they've been able to make their marriage stronger. Whether you've experienced infidelity or you're just going through some rough patches, you'll benefit from the many insights from our discussion.0:00 – Introduction: Who are Mark and Jill Savage?
3:02—Highlights from 30 good years of marriage
4:45—Highlights from 10 darker years (not in a row) of marriage
6:16—Mark’s midlife crisis
8:15—Jill’s response to Mark’s crisis
11:19—Making the important right steps
13:50—Choose your hard
14:33—A mad dash leads to crisis stash
16:04—Likening rebuilding trust to a bathtub filled with water
20:31—Living in ruin- what did that look like?
22:57—We take us (dysfunctionality and all) with us
26:24—Our thinking determines our feelings; our feelings then inform our beliefs; our beliefs, then inform our actions, and our actions then determine the results that we get
28:25—Mark’s best piece of advice
29:35—Its all about the way of thinking..flip the switch
34:55—Perfection infection
37:49—Using expectations to make requests
40:33—Jill, what do you believe is the key to a stronger marriage connection?
43:06—Mark, what do you believe is the key to a stronger marriage connection?
44:15—Mark’s and Jill’s resources
46:36—How long were you willing to wait?
50:50—Takeaways of the day
Insights and Invites
Insights
Mark’s
Mine is one of a faith response. It’s to humble yourself. Grab hold of the hand of Daddy God, and let Him lead you through the mess.
Jill’s
There is hope, and redemption available. Whether a marriage makes it or not, there's hope and redemption available. And so, I think that it, you know, that's kind of where I sat, you know, whether my marriage makes it or not, I have some growth to do.
Dave’s
Having humility, compassion, positivity; fundamental values for relationships, and I can't echo that enough. And that no matter where you are in your relationship, that we're going to hit these rough patches, some more serious than others. I feel like if we would forget the person that we thought we married and get to work on the relationship with the person that we did marry and focus we’d find enjoyment and remind ourselves, the principal that we remember what we rehearse, we remember what we review. And if we're reviewing the negative, and the mess and the yuckiness that we don't like, then that's what we will remember. But if we can flip the script that you talked about, refocus, change that heart, and search inward and turn outward.
Liz’s
Let’s work to flip the script, to crucify the negative and celebrate the positive. Because whatever I do focus on grows, and I'll find the evidence of whatever I believe I'll find it.
About Mark and Jill Savage:
Mark and Jill Savage are passionate about encouraging, educating, and equipping families and marriages. After serving in church ministry for twenty years, the Savage’s are now meeting the needs of families as authors, speakers, and coaches. Known for their honesty, humor, and practical teaching, Mark and Jill bring hope and encouragement to every audience.
Jill is the host of the No More Perfect Podcast and the author of fourteen books, including the bestselling No More Perfect Moms. Together Mark and Jill have created five online marriage courses and authored several books including No More Perfect Marriages, I Really Messed Up, and My Heart Is Broken. The parents of five adult children, and grandparents of six, the Savage’s make their home in Normal, IL.
Mark and Jill Savage Link:
www.MarkandJill.org
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Dr. Dave Schramm:
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Dr. Liz Hale: