067: Sexual Mindfulness

Podcast Guest: Chelom Leavitt
067: Sexual Mindfullness

Listen to the Show:

In this Episode

On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Chelom Leavitt, J.D.,  Ph.D., will explore with Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz how to intentionally slow your mind and body to build awareness and create better connection during sex.

0:00 – Introduction: Who is Chelom Leavitt?  

2:27 – What is sexual mindfulness?  

4:40 – What makes sex stigmatized?   

7:28 – Good girl syndrome and bad boy syndrome 

10:51 – Present connection with your partner

13:39 – Cultivating sexual mindfulness.

15:18 – Experiential and connective sex.

18:06 – The best gift to give to your spouse – presence.

18:48 – Embracing sexual mindfulness.  

21:09 – Noticing intimacy and identity.

23:58 – Building sexual mindfulness with your partner.

28:30 – Mindful embrace.

30:13 – Chelom Leavitt resources: The Sexual Mindfulness Project

32:45 – Being generous with your spouse.

33:45 – Takeaways

Insights and Invites


Chelom: Slow down, be gentle and be curious. 

Dave: Media does not portray sex correctly, making time to breathe, slow down, and raise awareness will benefit your relationship in all ways.   

Liz: Normalizing emotions in our life and bringing awareness can increase our sexual pleasure and lives.   


  • Practice the mindful embrace and heads together exercise Chelom discussed with your partner.
  • Start mindfulness exercises. The next time you have 2 minutes of breathing room, sit down, practice how it feels to just breathe and be. Implement this routine more and more into your schedule.
  • Notice what happens when you are physically connecting with your partner. A hug can tell you a lot about how your relationship looks and what you and your partner need.

About Chelom Leavitt:

Chelom Leavitt, J.D., Ph.D. teaches in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University. Dr. Leavitt received her Ph.D. from Penn State, and researches how mindfulness is linked to sexual functioning and satisfaction. Dr. Leavitt’s research has been published in the top research journals. Her research explores couples experience during sex, and what factors contribute to connection. She runs interventions that teach couples how to slow down and be more aware, and create greater connection during sex. She regularly blogs for Psychology Today as well as www.chelomleavitt.com, and shares with readers the latest research on meaningful sex, slowing down to experience greater connection, and being more curious in romantic and sexual relationships. Dr. Leavitt is married to David Leavitt and they are the parents of nine children.

Chelom Leavitt Links:

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:



Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org

Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

TikTok: @strongermarriagelife 

Dr. Dave Schramm:





Facebook Marriage Group:


Facebook Parenting Group:



Dr. Liz Hale: