053: How to Make Love Last

Podcast Guest: Kyle Benson
053: Making Love Last

Listen to the Show:

In this Episode

On today’s episode, the well known author, Kyle Benson joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz to discuss the simple principles that make marriage last. Kyle discusses the profound effectiveness of Emotion Focused Therapy in the stabilization of relationships. In addition, he recognizes the benefits of using the research by John and Julie Gottman to maintain a healthy relationship.

0:00 – Introduction: Who is Kyle Benson?

3:00 - Combination of Gottman Method and Emotional Based Therapy

8:36 – What is the longing for attachment?

10:15 –Am I enough? Am I worthy of love and care?

12:50 – Attachment Strategies/Styles

16:03 – Emotion Focused Therapy

20:15 – Conflict is fire

22:43 – One sided partner effort

26:10 – What is the key to a stronger marriage connection?

27:25 – Kyle’s resources

28:40 – Takeaways 

Insights and Invites


Liz: The healthy “We” starts with a healthy “Me.”

Kyle: Underneath every criticism is a longing for attachment.

Dave: It is not necessarily a poor partner but a poor pattern.


  • Join Kyle Benson’s email list to get free and easily acceptable tips to make marriage last.
  • Take 10 minutes to write down how you are going to change the unwanted patterns in your relationship.

About Kyle Benson:

Kyle studies how partners in healthy relationships intentionally –talk to each other, have passionate sex, stay emotionally connected, and more – to uncover the tools and perspectives that make love last. His work has been featured in dozens of major media channels including The Gottman Institute, Business Insider, U.S. News, The Chicago Tribune, Huffington Post, and more.

Kyle Benson Links:


FB @Kyle Benson https://www.facebook.com/kylebenson.net/

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