035: Overcoming Sexual Struggles in Marriage

Podcast Guest: Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

035: Overcoming Sexual Struggles in Marriage

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In this Episode

On today’s episode, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz talk with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife about healthy sexuality and why many struggle in this area. She also discusses how to develop the
capacity for deeper emotional and sexual intimacy. She shares the number one goal she has for people who visit with her and her practice.

0:00 Introduction: Who is Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
2:53 Where do you begin in your sexuality coaching with clients?

3:18 Time, sex, and money are the top three issues for newlywed couples

6:10 Marriage is a divine institution

7:07 Top insights from studies and dissertation

9:40 The number one goal is increasing people’s ability to have joy

11:49 No other relationship matters like the one right in front of me

13:30 Marriage struggles are not a problem, but a process

14:30 The perfect storm

16:19 Controlling in the marriage

18:28 What can I do to help?

19:16 There is nothing strange with differences in couples

20:50 Finding more space and respect

21:35 We love strength in people

22:43 Perfectionism is a terror that humanity will expose us as unlovable

25:03 Superwoman complex

26:57 Recognize when you are stressed or anxious

28:53 We don’t get to choose if we experience anxiety

31:11 Being willing to face truth through the looking glass of marriage

32:33 Where to go for more information from Jennifer

33:26 Takeaways

About Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. Her teaching and coaching focus on helping LDS individuals
and couples achieve greater satisfaction and passion in their emotional and sexual relationships. In addition to her private practice, Dr. Finlayson-Fife has created five empowering
and highly reviewed online courses. Each course was designed to give LDS individuals and couples the tools requisite to creating healthier lives and stronger intimate relationships. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also offers many workshops and retreats where she teaches these life-changing principles in person. Dr. Finlayson-Fife is a frequent guest on LDS-themed podcasts about sexuality, relationships, mental health, and faith. She is also the creator and host of Room for Two, a popular sex and intimacy coaching podcast.

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife Links:

Insights and Invites


Dave: Time, sex, and money are the top three issues for newlywed couples. Relationship happiness is often at stake with all of this.  
Liz: If I can’t say no, then I am not free to say yes.  
Dr. Finlayson-Fife: All unnecessary suffering is a part of avoiding necessary suffering. Suffering is a part of life. Decide to step into purposeful discomfort, purposeful suffering, to become stronger.  


  • Make sure you can take a step back when you are following a negative pattern, ask yourself, what role you have in the pattern? How are you feeding it?  
  • In the chaos, uncertainty, and anxiety of life, push for what is true. Trust the process and the honesty in your marriage, it will show you what you need to know to be stronger.  
  • None of us chooses whether we experience anxiety, we only get to choose whether its productive or unproductive.  

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