024: Marriage Happy Hacks

Featuring: Liz and Dave

Marriage Happy Hacks

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In this Episode

On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection podcast, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz discuss some of the top tips they call “Happy Hacks” that help us flourish as individuals and
bring more happiness into our relationships. Strong marriages are built on the virtues and character strengths of the spouses, so join the conversation to learn what you can do starting today to better yourself and your relationship!

1:13 – A happy “we” starts with a happy “me”
2:15 – The foundational three: sleep, exercise, and diet
4:42 – Unhappy people are three times more likely to get sick than happy people
6:10 – Stress kills
8:35 – Happy Hack: the power of kindness, compassion, and gratitude - lifeblood of relationships
10:47 – Simply witnessing kindness improves your mood
12:50 – Vitamin S - social piece that gives us reassurance, connection, and life satisfaction
13:53 – Happy Hack : The 10:5 Rule - smile at 10 feet, say hello at 5 feet
14:34 – Ritual of connection/smile campaign - smile and say hello when you greet your partner
16:51 – Broadcasting - communicating with our facial expression and body language
18:46 – Happy Hack: engaging in that state of flow
20:54 – Happy Hack: mindfulness - paying attention in the present moment without judgment
22:16 – Finding joy in the journey and bringing your best self to each situation
23:04 – Happy Hack: journaling your gratitude
24:22 – #1 predictor of happiness and well-being is the quality of our relationship s
26:41 – Our three needs: safety, satisfaction, and connection
28:38 – Happy Hack: discovering and using our strengths
31:33 – Liz’s takeaway: moving our thoughts so we can move our bodies and our relationships
32:09 – Dave’s takeaway: improving our personal lives and relationships starts with intentionality

Insights and Invites


Liz: Living amidst conflict hurts our health. Living amidst good, warm, loving relationships is protective.
Dave: If you want to be instantly happy, do something kind. Do something thoughtful, send someone a text, write them a letter, or send them a note. Doing something kind makes you a happier and a positive person and then that spills over into your marriage.


  • Are there areas in your personal life that you can tweak to be healthier physically and mentally? Where can you create an upward spiral toward greater happiness as an
    individual and as a couple? 
  • Do your facial expressions tell your spouse: “I see you. I notice you. I’m glad you’re there”? If not, make a goal to show in your facial expressions that you appreciate your partner.
  • Practice mindfulness by intentionally choosing to enjoy your day. Be fully present in each moment without judgment.
  • Create a gratitude journal for your spouse. When you’re upset with them, practice the “drop and do 10” exercise by writing down 10 reasons why you appreciate your partner.

Episode Links:
Signature strengths survey - https://www.viacharacter.org/
Robert Waldinger Harvard study Ted Talk

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