079: Marriage and Raising Children With Autism
Podcast Guest: Sage Allen
Listen to the Show:
In this Episode
In this episode, Sage Allen discusses the stresses and challenges she's encountered with her son who has severe autism and how this affects her marriage. Sage opens up about the raw realities of day-to-day care, and how important it is to make time for both self-care and date nights. Sage shares tips for other parents who find themselves overwhelmed and exhausted, including intentionally finding the good in each day and reaching out for support systems, including online groups.
0:00 – Introduction to today’s podcast
2:21—Who is Sage Allen
4:22— Foundational understanding of the autism spectrum
7:52—Day-in and day-out with a child with autism
9:04—Running a sprint verses a marathon mindset
11:09—Self-care tips/suggestions
12:38—Utah has a way to go to adequately funding help for disabilities
15:53—Marriage challenges
18:40—Schools and programs are very helpful
21:01—Using and being a support system
24:00— Strategies to maintain marriage connection
26:27—Take time for you and not talk about the stresses
28:19—Experiences that have brought Sage and her husband closer together
31:15— “Sage” advice
34:45—Sage’s resources
36:53—Hopes for the future
40:12—Sage’s takeaway of the day
40:52—Liz’s takeaway of the day
41:23—Dave’s takeaway of the day
Insights and Invites
Insights
Sage’s
I'd like to tell everyone that you really can have a great fulfilling marriage with a disabled child. At feels impossible. And it kind of feels like you'll never be happy again when you have that big of a trial, but then it really does get better. And you can have a great marriage and a great life.
Dave’s
An internal insight is, I can't be, my feelings. I'm going to feel things but I've got to learn to feel it but not follow it, if that makes sense. And not let it spill over and into my parenting or into my marriage or, or how I see the situation or complain about this or that in my life because it can always be poisonous, right? And how that that spills over.
Liz’s
I was pretty naive; I still am with autism. Thank you for the reminder of the three stages and that Utah has a way to go. That saddens me and it also gives me great hope with advocates like you and people who are willing to speak out and speak up for their loved ones or children. With that, I hope things do continue to grow and change
About Sage Allen:
Sage Erickson Allen has a master's degree in marriage family human development from BYU. , She taught marriage preparation at BYU and marriage enrichment classes for USU Extension in St. George, UT for a few years. She stopped teaching when her first child was diagnosed with severe autism around age two. That child is seven years old now and is completely nonverbal with low functioning autism and ADHD. In her spare time, Sage likes ballroom dancing and writing for her casual blog, sagerelationshipadvice.com. She also enjoys advocating for people with disabilities and families that need more help managing the stresses that accompany raising a child with a disability.
Sage Allen Link:
sagerelationshipadvice.com
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