What is premarital education?

By Leah Meredith | June 3, 2024

What is Premarital Education and What Can It Do For Us? 

In a previous blog, I talked about the importance of investing in good marriage preparation, not just putting all your premarital energies into wedding planning. But what is premarital education and what does it look like? What day-to-day parts of your relationship will it benefit you and your spouse? You’ve come to the right place. Read on. 

Let’s start with the basics. Premarital education comes in lots of different forms. It could look like anything from some research done on your own, to a community, church, or university class, or even formal premarital counseling. There are online marriage prep courses. This prep work is flexible! It can be molded and shaped to fit you and your partner. What works for you, works. But it works best if you do it together.  

If you are still enrolled in school, maybe think about taking a marriage class from your college. Lots of colleges have a semester-long class on marriage and healthy relationships. A lot of couples get premarital education from a religious source. These classes can align with your specific religious beliefs and help you envision how to live your marriage with these beliefs at the center. Most of these courses blend religious and secular, research-based perspectives on building a successful marriage. Or, there are many good community-based, secular programs to help couples prepare for marriage.  

In a large survey of newlywed couples who invested in premarital education, they said taking a church, community, or university class before they got married was very helpful in changing their marriage for the better.i These kinds of classes are taught by experienced mentors who can guide your learning without you having to do all the research on your own. 

So, what kinds of things do you learn in these premarital education classes? Here are four general areas you will likely learn about – and get some practice. 

Relationship skills – such as compromise, cooperation, seeking help, active listening, conflict resolution, decision-making, emotional regulation, and perspective-taking. 
Partner selection – increase your confidence that you have picked a great lifelong partner for and strengthen your commitment to them. (Okay, yes, sometimes couples learn during premarital education that maybe they didn’t make a great partner choice or are just not ready for the big step. But don’t you want to learn that before the wedding?!) 
Relationship patterns – such as what your partner learned from her or his parents growing up, how they behaved in previous relationships, how they react when their feelings are hurt, and so forth. 
Relationship attitudes - What do they believe about right and wrong? What are their parenting beliefs and attitudes?

Good research shows that premarital education can improve your skills and confidence in each of these areas. Imagine getting in some really good conflict-resolution practice with your fiancé and then knowing you did a dry run before you have to decide who will do which household chores, how to share diaper duties, and how you will manage the money! 

But what if you both have busy schedules or you are more private people? Well, doing some research from your own computer can still work. In that study of newlywed couples mentioned earlier, they rated self-guided methods as even more helpful than a premarital class or premarital counseling. We recommend The Utah Marriage Commission's website for a treasure trove of free podcasts, webinars, and guidebooks. You can take a free, research-based questionnaire – RELATE – with hundreds of questions that can help you identify your personal and relationship strengths and where you could use some more work. We also recommend this online course, ePREP, available for free for Utah engaged couples, sponsored by the Utah Marriage Commission. It can help you understand each other better and communicate more effectively. 

In good marriage preparation, we hope couples can picture themselves well into their mature years, enjoying a deep relationship full of growth and joy from a lifetime of trying. Premarital education can help couples prepare for the fulfilling end from the exciting beginning.  