Understanding Holiday Loneliness and What You Can Do

By Cindy Jenkins, Extension Assistant Professor

The holiday season is upon us and with that comes the thoughts of family, friends, and festive times. However, with all the holiday cheer some people may feel a little lonely. According to an American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) survey in 2017, thirty-one percent of respondents reported feeling lonely around the holidays and forty-one percent reported being worried about a friend or family member during the festive season (Kerman, 2017). Some of these lonely people may be socially isolated while others may feel lonely even among family and friends.

When a person is lonely, they are more likely to feel negative emotions. These individuals are more likely to feel slights even when they are not intended, which can make it difficult to be social even when a person wants to socialize. (Capaccio & Hawley, 2009) It is also important to address loneliness because those who feel lonely are less likely to take care of themselves (Capaccio & Hawley, 2009) and the U.S. Surgeon General has said that loneliness is worse than smoking 15 cigarettes a day (Murthy, 2023).

While this may sound bleak, there are some things you can do to help yourself even before you head to that family gathering:

• Personal reflection – take some time to connect with yourself and find out more about who you are. The relationship you have with yourself is important and loneliness can obscure positive thoughts about yourself. (Murthy, 2020)
• Gratitude – practice gratitude in your current circumstances. This can help you face difficult times. (Jans-Beken, 2018)
• Laughter – find a good joke, meme, or funny video to laugh over and then consider sharing it with a friend. This helps boost your mood and with feelings of connection. (Yim, 2016)
• Screen time – we all know taking time away from screens is good for your health. Here are some alternatives to screen time:
  • Enjoy art at a local museum or have a quick dance party to your favorite song. (Fraser & Keating, 2014)
  • Take time and head outside for a walk or hike. Time in nature has been known to help boost your mood. (Frumkin et al., 2017)

Everything considered, it’s important to turn inward and take healthy steps if you are feeling lonely. To learn more steps for coping with loneliness, consider checking out these USU Extension resources:

Utah State University Extension Fact Sheets: Coping with Loneliness

• Part 1: Look Inward https://extension.usu.edu/healthwellness/research/coping-with-loneliness-part-1-look-inward
• Part 2: Look Outward https://extension.usu.edu/healthwellness/research/coping-with-loneliness-part-2-look-outward
• Part 3: Focus on What You Can Change https://extension.usu.edu/healthwellness/research/coping-with-loneliness-part-3-focus-on-what-you-can-change
• Part 4: Support Others Who Experience Loneliness https://extension.usu.edu/mentalhealth/research/coping-with-loneliness-support-others-who-experience-loneliness

References

Cacioppo, J. T., & Hawkley, L. C. (2009). Perceived social isolation and cognition. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 13(10), 447–454. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2009.06.005

Fraser, C., & Keating, M. M. (2014). The effect of a creative art program on self-esteem, hope, perceived social support, and self-efficacy in individuals with multiple sclerosis. The Journal of Neuroscience Nursing/Journal of Neuroscience Nursing, 46(6), 330–336. https://doi.org/10.1097/jnn.0000000000000094

Frumkin, H., Bratman, G. N., Breslow, S. J., Cochran, B., Kahn Jr, P. H., Lawler, J. J., Levin, P. S., Tandon, P. S., Varanasi, U., Wolf, K. L., & Wood, S. A. (2017). Nature contact and human health: A research agenda. Environmental Health Perspectives, 125(7), 075001.

Jans-Beken, L. (2018). Appreciating gratitude: New perspectives on the gratitude-mental health connection (978-94-6332-322-2) [Doctoral thesis, Open Universiteit]. Open Universiteit.