Understanding and Supporting Highly Sensitive Children

By Christina Pay, Extension Assistant Professor, and Deri Thatcher, Home and Community Intern

Does your child dislike loud noises, complain about scratchy clothing or wants to immediately change out of wet clothing? Perhaps they don’t like surprises, notices the slightest unpleasant odor, or are deep thinkers with a clever sense of humor. These observations, along with others, may mean your child is highly sensitive. This article will give you information about highly sensitive children and suggest ways you can best support them.

Being a Highly Sensitive Child

Understanding that being a highly sensitive child is not a recognized mental health or medical condition but rather a personality trait is crucial. While there is no specific test to diagnose a child as highly sensitive, parents, and caregivers can observe certain behaviors and characteristics to identify high sensitivity. Many highly sensitive children also exhibit the sensory processing sensitivity trait, a personality trait that affects approximately 15-20% of the population (Malinakova et al., 2021).

It's important to note that being highly sensitive is not a problem to be solved or a disease that needs to be cured. Parents and caregivers can help children develop a strong sense of self by understanding and accepting their unique traits.

What Does It Mean to Be a Highly Sensitive Child? 

Highly sensitive children experience their feelings and emotions more deeply and are more sensitive to stimuli such as noise, texture, and smells. In noisy or crowded spaces, these children can become easily overwhelmed and overstimulated. Highly sensitive children are also deep thinkers, conscientious, and intuitive. It's estimated that roughly one in five children are highly sensitive.

By recognizing and supporting the needs of highly sensitive children, parents and caregivers can foster an environment where these children can thrive.

Common Signs of Highly Sensitive Children

• They notice small details, like changes in clothing or when things have been moved.
• They can sense when others are in a bad mood, which greatly affects them.
• They struggle to "shake off" intense emotions like anger or worry.
• They complain about discomforts such as clothing labels, scratchy bed sheets, tight waistbands, and displaced socks.
• They feel stressed in loud environments such as gyms, schools, and public places.
• They dislike feeling rushed and prefer to do things meticulously.
• They respond better to calm discussions rather than harsh discipline.
• They appear wise beyond their years and show deep insight.
• They have a clever sense of humor and make comments to impress others.
• They refuse certain foods due to their smells and textures.
• They startle easily at sudden noises and dislike being snuck up on.

How to Help Your Highly Sensitive Child Thrive

• Set Expectations Ahead of Time: Preparing your child for upcoming activities helps them feel in control. Explain what will happen and how it might affect them, offering choices when possible.
• Advocate for Them: As a parent, you are your child's advocate. Educate teachers and leaders about your child's sensitivity, helping them identify triggers and set realistic expectations. Creating a supportive environment is key to your child's well-being.
• Set Boundaries: Clear boundaries create predictability and stability, fostering mutual respect for personal space. This helps establish expectations, reduce anxiety, and prevent sensory overload.
• Celebrate Their Strengths: Praise and encouragement boost your child's self-esteem and confidence, improving their relationships and promoting mental health.
• Get Curious About Their World: Spend one-on-one time with your child, asking open-ended questions like, "Did you have a bad day today?" This encourages conversation and gives them space to express their feelings.
  
  Ultimately, understanding and embracing your highly sensitive child can lead to more supportive and nurturing relationships. By recognizing their strengths, you can create environments that foster their growth and well-being. A clearer understanding of highly sensitive children by parents, caregivers and teachers can encourage sensitivity, help embrace differences, and value every child for who they are.

Additional Resources

Resources for Parents of Highly Sensitive Children

For Parents of HSC

How to Support Your Highly Sensitive Child

How to Help Your Sensitive, Deeply Feeling Kid Handle an Overwhelming World

References

Aron, E. N. (2002). The highly sensitive child: Helping our children thrive when the world overwhelms them. Harmony.
Lerner, C. (2022, February 21). 10 traits of highly sensitive children. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/zero-six/202202/10-traits-highly-sensitive-children
Malinakova, K., Novak, L., Trnka, R., & Tavel, P. (2021). Sensory Processing Sensitivity Questionnaire: A Psychometric Evaluation and Associations with Experiencing the COVID-19 Pandemic. International journal of environmental research and public health, 18(24), 12962. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph182412962
Neff, M. A. (2023, October 16). Understanding the highly sensitive child: Orchids, dandelions, and more. https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/the-highly-sensitive-child