Three Smart Rules for Kids with Smartphones

By Brooklyn Spjut, Student Intern, and Taryn Wahlquist, Extension Assistant Professor

Technology, and the demands it places on parents to create and enforce limits, have come a long way since the television first rolled into living rooms. Today’s parents must decide what devices their children can use or own, what they can access on those devices, and how much time they get to spend on them.

Setting and holding screen-use boundaries with children can be especially challenging when faced with the age-old plea, “but everyone else is doing it!” The reality is, many kids—especially teenagers—do have smartphones, or use social media, or take their phones to school. But that doesn’t mean they should, or that parents must be passive participants in this high-tech world. In fact, it’s more important than ever to hold the line on healthy screen habits for your family.

Why Setting Boundaries Matters

Research consistently links high screen use time and social media exposure with increased symptoms of anxiety, depression, loneliness, attention problems, and poor sleep quality (Zablotsky et al, 2025). To prevent or interrupt these adverse effects, parents must set and enforce rules that are likely to be unpopular with their children.

Consider this analogy from parenting expert, Dr. Becky Kennedy: What if you were an airline pilot and you got word that you needed to make an emergency landing? Passengers might be frustrated, anxious, or angry about the disruption to their travel plans, but you’d still land the plane, right? Of course you would! Now, let’s say you got word that the way children use their phones is harmful, and you need to make an emergency landing for your family. You should land the plane, no matter the frustration and pushback from little passengers (Thrive Parenting Network, 2024).

This kind of authoritative parenting—balancing high expectations and firm limits with warmth and support—has been shown to improve confidence, responsibility, and self-regulation, while producing better social outcomes and emotional well-being in children (Sanvictores & Mendez, 2022).

Three Smart Boundaries for Kids with Phones

If your children already have phones or other media devices, here are three ways you can pilot your family's plane authoritatively toward an emergency landing, providing warmth, guidance, and structure along the way.

1. Collect Phones and Devices 30-60 Minutes Before Bed

   Getting adequate sleep reduces stress, improves mood, lowers the risk of chronic conditions, and improves attention and memory (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2024). These are all critical benefits we want for our children, but 60% of Utah middle and high school students aren’t getting enough sleep to enjoy them (Utah Department of Health and Human Services, Division of Substance Abuse and Mental Health, 2025).

   Device use before bed is a likely contributor to this problem. Not only are phones in the bedroom delaying and displacing sleep with scrolling or gaming, the light is confusing their bodies! Light is a biological cue for wakefulness (Glazier & Ko, 2018). Using a screen before bed exposes kids to blue light that disorients their internal clocks, making it difficult to sleep. Protect your kids’ sleep by having them turn in their devices 30-60 minutes before they need to be in bed.

2. Restrict the Content Available to Children on Their Phones and Devices

   Imagine storing a box of pornographic content in your child’s bedroom and expecting them not to look at it. This is what Smartphone Free Childhood US depicted in their 2025 commercial, stating that “we ask too much of our kids when we give them a smartphone. Let’s change the norm together” (Smartphone Free Childhood US, 2025). One way to change the norm in your own home is by utilizing content restrictions. Studies show that children whose parents monitored their device use were less likely to experience depression, dissatisfaction with life, or insecurity (Twenge, 2025, p. 98).

   A quick online search for “parental control apps” will yield many options for monitoring and restricting your child’s online activity. Both Apple and Android devices have parental control options you can turn on as well. Set aside some time to research your options and select the content restriction method that works best for your family.

3. Limit Time Spent on Screens

   Time is children’s most valuable asset, and the technology industry's job is to capture it. Nir Eyal, who trains companies in product design, openly markets that the goal of consumer web companies is user addiction (Eyal, n.d.), and it seems to be working. One teen said, “Social media is built around FOMO [fear of missing out]… so I felt like I couldn’t get off of it… it was a downward spiral” (Twenge, 2025, p. 2).

   Parents can curb the spiral by limiting screen time. Your child may believe their social life will suffer without constant access to a phone, but this is a myth (and remember: tech companies have a vested interest in reinforcing this myth). Screen-free time allows kids to develop connections they otherwise could not. In fact, research shows that children who spent time at summer camps without screens had better social skills than their peers (Twenge, 2025, p. 118). Give your kids the time and space they need to cultivate real-world experiences with real people by setting time restrictions on screen use.

Conclusion

Raising smartphone-savvy kids is no easy task, but authoritative parents can pilot their families’ planes to safety by providing strong boundaries and warm guidance, even in the face of social and cultural headwinds. By prioritizing sleep, protecting kids from unsafe or unhealthy content, and emphasizing real-world connection over screen time, you’ll support your kids’ emotional, physical, and mental health—now and in service of their future.

References 

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, May 15). About sleep. https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about/index.html

Eyal, N. (n.d.). 4 steps to create desire: How to spark interest and attraction. NirAndFar. https://www.nirandfar.com/how-to-manufacture-desire/

Glazier, E. M., & Ko, E. (2018, May 28). Ask the doctors: Does light from smartphones interfere with sleep? UCLA Health. https://www.uclahealth.org/news/article/ask-the-doctors-does-light-from-smartphones-interfere-with-sleep

Sanvictores, T., & Mendez, M. D. (2022). Types of parenting styles and effects on children. In StatPearls. StatPearls Publishing. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK568743/

Smartphone Free Childhood US. (2025, September 22). Smartphone free childhood US – "Let’s change the norm" [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_xwJ5u9I8o

Thrive Parenting Network. (2024, August 24). Kids need a sturdy leader [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfSEhNAJ_oo

Twenge, J. M. (2025). 10 rules for raising kids in a high-tech world: How parents can stop smartphones, social media, and gaming from taking over their children's lives. Atria Books.

Utah Department of Health and Human Services, Division of Substance Abuse and Mental Health. (2025). 2025 student health and risk prevention (SHARP) prevention needs assessment results for State of Utah. https://dsamh-training.utah.gov/_documents/SHARPreports/2025/State_of_Utah_Profile_Report.pdf

Zablotsky, B., Ng, A. E., Black, L. I., Haile, G., Bose, J., Jones, J. R., & Blumberg, S. J. (2025). Associations between screen time use and health outcomes among US teenagers. Preventing Chronic Disease, 22, Article 240537. https://doi.org/10.5888/pcd22.240537