The Power of Positive Emotions in Relationships

By Hannah Crowley, Health & Wellness Intern & Ashley Yaugher, Ph.D., Health & Wellness Faculty

Have you ever shared a milestone or happy news with someone close to you and hoped it would make them happy too? Sharing these experiences and feelings with another isn’t just about telling them the news, it’s also about building and strengthening bonds (Gable et al., 2006). Healthy relationship bonds are maintained through “work, effort, and understanding” (Schainker, n.d.). Your response to your friend’s, family’s, or romantic partner’s happiness plays a key part in building healthy relationships.

Why Positive Emotions Matter

• Boosts Emotional and Social Bonds: Celebrating the happiness of others strengthens emotional ties. According to Gable and Reis (2010), positive events in others' lives can trigger healthy emotions, fostering deeper social connections and trust. When you show enthusiasm for others' successes, it signals a mutual care for each other’s well-being, which leads to a stronger mutual bond (Gable & Reis, 2010).
• Reinforces Supportive Relationships: When you respond positively to others' good news, it demonstrates your attentiveness to their emotional needs. Active and constructive responses, such as asking questions about their happiness and showing genuine interest, foster a sense of validation and care. This form of emotional responsiveness can lead to stronger, more supportive relationships (Gable et al., 2006).
• Encourages Positive Communication: Positive emotions are contagious. Expressing joy for others’ happiness creates a positive atmosphere where open communication and emotional expression thrive (Singh, 2017).

How to Express Positive Emotions

1. Have an Engaged Response: When someone shares good news, respond with enthusiasm. Ask questions, celebrate what’s to come, and show genuine interest in what it means for them. For example, instead of just saying "Congrats," follow up with a question to prompt further conversation like “How does it feel to reach your goal?” (Gable & Reis, 2010).
2. Express Appreciation: Recognize someone’s hard work through both verbal and non-verbal gestures. A simple compliment or a heartfelt note can make them feel appreciated and highlight their strengths (Singh, 2017). A quick text to a loved one, friend, or co-worker saying something positive like “Thank you for helping me with that task” can show your gratitude and appreciation.
3. Validate Their Emotions: Communicate that you understand what good news means to them. Even if you don’t fully relate, be happy for them. As Schainker (n.d.) advises, being curious about the other person’s perspective and offering support strengthens emotional connections. You can practice this by saying things like, “Wow, that must feel great. What was the experience like?”
4. Show Understanding: Actively listen and empathize with others' joy. When someone shares something positive, instead of focusing on your own emotions or minimizing their experience, focus on their feelings and the significance of the event to them (Von Culin et al., 2017). For example, saying “What a joy to feel that accomplishment” without immediately talking about your own experiences helps center the moment on this person.
5. Create a Supportive Environment: By responding to others' happiness in supportive ways, you create a safe emotional space where both parties can freely share both good and bad news, knowing their loved one will care (Gable et al., 2006; Von Culin et al., 2017). Having positive conversational experiences can make it easier to share when things are not going as planned, too, because this base of healthy communication allows the other person to express themselves.

Being happy with your relationship is not only a kind and loving response. It’s an essential part of strengthening all relationships, ranging from romantic partners to friends or co-workers. By actively celebrating your loved ones, you can build trust and deepen your connection. Implementing positive engagement, appreciation, validation, understanding, and support can create a positive, healthy environment that promotes happiness and respect.

References

Gable, S. L., Gonzaga, G. C., & Strachman, A. (2006). Will you be there for me when things go right? Supportive responses to positive event disclosures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(5), 904-917. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.91.5.904

Gable, S. L., & Reis, H. T. (2010). Good news! Capitalizing on positive events in an interpersonal context. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 42, 195-257. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2601(10)42004-3

Schainker, L. (n.d.). How to be an emotionally intelligent partner: Focus on relationship management. Utah State University Extension. https://extension.usu.edu/relationships/faq/how-to-be-an-emotionally-intelligent-partner-focus-on-relationship-management

Singh, G. K. (2017, August 5). Appreciation and well being: Proposing active constructive complimenting (ACC) and active constructive accepting (ACA) to improve appreciation. University of Pennsylvania. https://repository.upenn.edu/handle/20.500.14332/38752

Von Culin, K. R., Hirsch, J. L., & Clark, M. S. (2017). Willingness to express emotion depends upon perceiving partner care. Cognition and Emotion, 32(3), 641–650. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699931.2017.1331906