Taking a Minute to Win Your Relationship

By Naomi Brower, Extension Professor

Do you ever feel like there’s never enough time, yet you long to spend more meaningful moments connecting with your sweetheart? You’re not alone. Life is busy, and while we may not always have as much time as we’d like, connecting with our partner through small, intentional moments—like relationship rituals—can make a big difference.

Relationship rituals are purposeful, repeated actions that help strengthen our bond with loved ones. These can be as simple as how you greet each other after a long day or as significant as celebrating special anniversaries (Sethi, 2024). Such rituals foster closeness and build secure attachment, which is essential for healthy relationships. Here are some small ways to nurture your connection every day:

1. Create a meaningful way to say hello and goodbye.
2. Share a six-second kiss with your partner.
3. Leave a surprise sticky note or card expressing your love or appreciation where they’ll find it.
4. Before bed, share one thing you’re thankful for about each other.
5. While driving together, kiss at every red light or stop sign.
6. Give each other 15 minutes of undivided attention to talk about your day (no electronics allowed).
7. Compliment your partner—notice what they do well and tell them!
8. Show appreciation for the everyday things.
9. Have weekly meetings to talk about important topics like finances, kids, or goals.
10. Call or text each other just because.
11. Flirt with each other.
12. Exercise together.
13. Give your partner a massage.
14. Hold hands.
15. Play games together.
16. Bring home flowers or their favorite treat.
17. Take a walk together.
18. Say, “I love you.”
19. Laugh together. Share a funny meme, video, or take time to be silly together.
20. When your partner shares something with you, give them your full attention.
21. Try something new together-- a new kind of food, playing a game, or watching a new show.
22. Do something thoughtful for your partner.
23. Go to bed at the same time.
24. Surprise them with a silly gift at an unexpected moment.
25. Stop whatever you’re doing to enjoy the sunset together.

In addition to these small daily gestures, make it a priority to plan at least one date each month to enjoy undivided quality time together. Need some inspiration? Check out the free Hidden Gems Date Your Mate adventure guides for creative ideas!

For more information about rituals of connection in relationships, check out these resources:

• 5 Rituals to Reconnect in Your Relationship from the Gottman Institute https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-rituals-reconnect-relationship/
• 15 Relationship Rituals that Will Keep Your Bond Strong by Danielle Seithi https://daniellesethi.com/relationship-rituals/