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Retirement: Making the Transition as a Couple

By Kari Ure, Extension Assistant Professor

Older Couple Walking on the Beach

Retirement.  A milestone many look forward to and count down the years.  Many retirement seminars address the financial preparation needed to retire; however, there are additional important areas of preparation.  If one lives to age 65, the life expectancy is nearly 20 additional years (National Center for Health Statistics, 2021).  While retirement can and should be a joyous period, it can also bring contention and changes to marital relationships.  Research shows that couple satisfaction often increases in retirement years, but also shows that there is a transition period that can be rocky for the couple relationship.

Here are some tips to help smooth the transition:

- Discuss expectations: Discuss expectations to understand what kind of lifestyle each partner expects in retirement.  Once the expectations are shared, plan ways that each person can fulfill their desires.  This may mean that some of the activities are completed individually.  As an example: one partner may see retirement as having time for volunteer work and travel while the other partner may see retirement as a time to relax and work on hobbies and interests close to home.  Plan for activities to do together as well as individually.  

- Focus on healthy habits: It’s important to keep a schedule and healthy habits.  Habits should be completed both as a couple and as individuals.  It may be nice at first to think of never having to set an alarm clock again or be on an employer’s schedule, but most find that after time they prefer to keep a consistent schedule.  Exercise and healthy eating become especially important as individuals age so having a plan to stay healthy and active is important.

- Find ways to grow and find fulfillment: Transitioning out of the employment environment shifts roles and this takes time to adjust. For example, a partner may be in a supervisory role at work and at retirement they may shift that to being “supervisor” at home without realizing it which leads to conflict.  Plan ways to continue to grow and find purpose during retirement.  

Open and honest communication between partners to plan prior to and also during the transition into retirement is crucial.  Respecting and listening to one another through this transition can lead to increased marital satisfaction going into what can be the best two decades of marriage.  

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