We Want Your Feedback!

Please give us feedback on one of our weekly question and answer articles. We value your time so the evaluation will only take 3 minutes or less, we promise!

Take the Survey »

How do you help a loved one with mental illness that doesn’t want to seek counseling or medication?

By Naomi Brower, USU Extension Professor & Student Intern, Audrey Garrett

Depression

Response:

Introduction

If you currently have or previously had a loved one with a mental illness who has refused help, you are not alone.  Many others have and continue to ask this question.  There can be many different reasons why someone may not want to seek counseling or medication.  One reason some people may refuse help is because it can be hard to accept weakness and challenges that they have, let alone a mental illness. It may also be very challenging for these individuals to recognize how the mental illness is affecting themselves, their families, and other loved ones (National Alliance on Mental Illness Virginia, 2016). Whatever their reasons for not wanting to seek help, it is important to know what we can do as family members and friends to help them - even if they don’t want to seek help.

Ways to Help

  • The National Alliance on Mental Illness Virginia (2016) suggests first listening to your loved one’s problems.  It can help strengthen your understanding if you try to put yourself in their situation.
  • Make efforts to be patient and understanding rather than getting frustrated or angry. Ask them questions that will help you understand why they don’t want to seek help (National Alliance on Mental Illness Virginia, 2016).
  • Express your concern and support for them, and reassure them that you care about them (MentalHealth.gov, 2017). 

When talking to a family member who doesn’t want to seek help, use “I” statements instead of “you” statements.  This will help you focus on your feelings instead of criticizing or directing the comments to your family members (CAMH).

Conclusion

It can be difficult to know what to do when a family or friend needs help with a mental health concern but they don’t want it.  By listening to them and trying to understand their point of view, making an effort to be patient, and expressing your concern, you will be providing a supportive atmosphere to help them.  Provided below are additional resources you can turn to for help.  If you need further help, consider seeking out a caring professional for support. 

Additional Resources

  • National Alliance on Mental Illness: https://www.nami.org
  • Book by Xavier Amador titled I am not sick, I don’t need help! Helping the seriously mentally ill accept treatment.

References