Keeping Your Marriage Strong When Parenting Feels Exhausting

By Cara Murray, Extension Assistant Professor

Parenting is deeply rewarding, but it can also be exhausting. Between caring for young children, managing school schedules, and balancing household and work responsibilities, parents often find themselves drained at the end of the day. When energy runs low, couples may unintentionally neglect their relationship. Over time, this can create distance and strain.

The encouraging news is that nurturing your relationship not only strengthens your marriage but also benefits your children. A strong couple relationship fosters stability, security, and support within the family—an environment in which children thrive (Rothwell, 2024).

Self-Care and Parenting Well-Being

It’s easy for a parent to put their own needs last, focusing all their energy on their children. While this may feel necessary, neglecting self-care can leave parents depleted and less able to nurture their marriage. Parent well-being strongly shapes relationship satisfaction and family health. When parents take time to rest, exercise, or engage in activities that bring them joy, they experience higher levels of life satisfaction and stronger couple connections (Nomaguchi & Milkie, 2020).

Self-care does not have to be time-consuming. Even small practices—such as a short walk outside, journaling, or setting aside a few quiet moments—can restore energy and improve patience, presence, and connection within the marriage.

Connection and Communication

When life feels overwhelming, many parents try to “hold it all in” rather than share their struggles with their spouse. While this may seem like a way to avoid conflict, suppressing emotions often reduces closeness and can harm both personal well-being and relationship quality (Le & Impett, 2016).

Open, honest communication—even about difficult emotions—builds trust and intimacy. Simple habits like talking about the day, listening without judgment, or expressing gratitude help couples feel supported and connected, even during the busiest seasons of parenting. Research also shows that engaging in new and enjoyable activities together strengthens relationships. This can be especially valuable during the transition to parenthood, when time once spent on shared hobbies is often replaced by childcare responsibilities (Aron et al., 2000)

Parenting demands significant time and energy, but a strong marriage provides the foundation for a healthy family. By practicing self-care, communicating openly, enjoying time together, and working as a team, couples can build a resilient relationship that benefits both themselves and their children.

References

Aron, A., Norman, C. C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples’ shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 273–284. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.78.2.273

Le, B. M., & Impett, E. A. (2016). The costs of suppressing negative emotions and amplifying positive emotions during parental caregiving. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 42(3), 323–336. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167216629122

Nomaguchi, K., & Milkie, M. A. (2020). Parenthood and well-being: A decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, 82(1), 198–223. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12646

Rothwell, J. T., & Davoodi, T. (2024). Parent-child relationship quality predicts higher subjective well-being in adulthood across a diverse group of countries. Communications psychology, 2(1), 110. doi: 10.1038/s44271-024-00161-x