Generational Trauma and Parenting

By Cindy Jenkins, Extension Assistant Professor

Like water raining down onto someone who forgot their umbrella, the effects of trauma can spill down through generations. Generational trauma is defined as “the transmission of trauma or its legacy, in the form of a psychological consequence of an injury or attack, poverty, and so forth, from the generation experiencing the trauma to subsequent generations (APA Dictionary of Psychology, n.d.).” Perhaps at times you may have felt symptoms, such as increased anxiety and stress, feelings of helplessness, trouble with relationships, etc. (APA Dictionary of Psychology, n.d.), and wondered about how it may be affecting you and/or your family. Here are a couple of parenting examples, discussed by Brown (2024), which may be the result of generational trauma:

• Helicopter parenting: This term frequently gets tossed around these days and may involve parents who are obsessed with their child(ren) being perfect (Yilmaz et al., 2021) or who are over-protective (Joe et al., 2019). Most of us can probably easily think of examples like this from TV, literature, and real life.
• Silent parenting: This generally happens when parents bottle up the trauma that happened in the past and never talk about the negative events or any emotions. Maybe you can think of that one person who will never talk about their emotions or difficult experiences. When that happens, emotional and/or social isolation may result along with patterns that are passed down (Khuu, 2020).

If you or someone you know may be leaning into these parenting styles, it may be that the parent is focusing more on their child(ren) as a way of escaping and not resolving their own issues (Subasi et al., 2022). There are many ways these challenges can be addressed. Here are a few examples from Harris (2021):

• Becoming self-aware: Is there a part of your personal history that you haven’t really wanted to acknowledge? Recognizing the signs and symptoms of trauma oftentimes is the first step to healing.
• Acceptance: After recognizing the signs and symptoms of generational trauma, it can be difficult to process feelings and emotions or accept them as reality. Accepting the pain may decrease its power over you and decrease your suffering.
• Values: Maybe as a part of your journey you’ve realized there are some things you value such as desired behaviors of yourself and others.
• Commitment to action: It’s important to work toward what you’ve decided to value and take responsibility for your actions.

These are just a few steps that can be taken to help combat generational trauma. Regular therapy and relying on healthy support systems can also help create healthy patterns. Find what works for you and start on your journey today that can help you and many generations to come.

References

• American Psychological Association. (2023, November 15) A Dictionary of Psychology: Intergenerational Poverty. Retrieved July 14, 2024, from  https://dictionary.apa.org/intergenerational-trauma
• Brown, D. A., Jr. (2024). Breaking the cycle: Treating intergenerational trauma with trauma-focused ACT. The Behavior Therapist, 47(3), 125–136
• Harris, R. (2021). Trauma-focused ACT: A practitioner's guide to working with mind, body & emotion using acceptance & commitment therapy. Context Press/New Harbinger.
• Joe, J. R., Shillingford-Butler, M., & Oh, S. (2019). The experiences of African American mothers raising sons in the context of #blacklivesmatter. Professional Counselor, 9(1), 67–79. https://doi.org/10.15241/jrj.9.1.67
• Khuu, B. (2020). Exploring the effects of intergenerational trauma and parenting strategies among second-generation Vietnamese Americans. (Publication No. 28264527) [Doctoral dissertation, The University of Minnesota]. ProQuest Dissertations and Theses Global.
• Subasi, D. O., Sümengen, A. A., Ekim, A., & Ocakci, A. F. (2022). The relationship between Turkish mothers’ childhood trauma experiences and parenting styles. Child Abuse Review, 31(4). https://doi.org/10.1002/car.2747
• Yılmaz, H., Arslan, C., & Arslan, E. (2021). Is having a helicopter mother a traumatic experience? The relationship between helicopter mother attitude and traumatic experiences and learned helplessness. Psycho-Educational Research Reviews, 10(3), 302-321. https://doi.org/10.52963/PERR_Biruni_V10.N3.19