Becoming a Trusted Adult: Relationship Skills that Help Youth Feel Seen and Supported

By Janna Potter, Health & Wellness Intern & Ashley Yaugher, Health & Wellness Faculty

Introduction

In a world where adolescents increasingly receive advice from unverified sources, like influencers on social media, it is more important than ever for adults to build connections that foster trust and open communication with the youth in their families and communities. Having a trusted adult who they can turn to when adversity arises is a protective factor that supports resilience in youth (Ashton et al., 2021). Trusted adults can come from many different social relationships, such as teachers, coaches, family members, neighbors, or community members (Hamilton et al., 2016). According to the Health-Promoting Relationships Paradigm (A Division for Advancing Prevention and Treatment [ADAPT], 2026), adults can intentionally cultivate trust and resilience in adolescents through four strategies:

1. Create the Environment: Set the emotional tone by creating a positive, uplifting space that models nonjudgment, honesty, vulnerability, and openness. Be present, attentive, and observant of small shifts in emotions, and use gentle check-ins. Encourage youth to make self-directed choices within reasonable boundaries (ADAPT, 2026).
2. Facilitate Connection: Consider which facilitators of connection are most needed in the moment. Practice self-awareness and set aside judgements or biases that may interfere with genuine connection. Adolescents can recognize when an adult is not being authentic (ADAPT, 2026). Building genuine connections with caring adults is important, as research suggests these relationships can protect adolescents from a range of negative outcomes while promoting healthy development (Sieving et al., 2017).
3. Engage Micro-skills: Micro-skills are words and actions that strengthen connections and reinforce protective beliefs in youth. Being fully present, actively listening, and responding intentionally can encourage meaningful interactions and help youth to feel heard and valued (ADAPT, 2026).
4. Grow Youth Abilities: Use a strengths-based approach to guide youth toward growth and self-empowerment. Solving problems for youth does not help them build resilience. Instead, provide useful tools, allow them to make choices according to their conscience, and then reflect with them on what worked and what did not. Recognize and affirm their growth along the way (ADAPT, 2026). Supportive nonparental adults can also help adolescents recognize their individual strengths and provide emotional support and honest feedback that contributes to positive development (Yu et al., 2018).

Conclusion

Adults can strengthen relationship skills to help youth feel supported and seen. Promote beliefs such as “I am seen and loved,” “I matter,” “I can influence my life,” “I can overcome hard things,” and “I have support.” Cultivating these beliefs can help youth develop resilience when facing adversity and challenges (ADAPT, 2026). Pairing encouragement with concrete support, respectful listening, helpful resources, realistic expectations, and providing opportunities for youth to exercise agency allows them to grow while knowing there is a trusted adult to help them if they need support. Start to become a supportive adult by creating a safe space, facilitating connection, using positive micro-skills, and focusing on a strengths-based or growth mindset attitude. Each of these strategies promotes healthy youth development and strengthens relationships.

Resources

For additional information on building supportive relationships with youth, see the online Health-Promoting Relationships Toolkit.

References

A Division for Advancing Prevention and Treatment. (2026, June 8). Health-promoting relationships paradigm (toolkit): Cultivating protective beliefs in youth ages 11-18. https://www.hidta.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/HPR-Toolkit-v7_r.pdf

Ashton, K., Davies, A. R., Hughes, K., Ford, K., Cotter-Roberts, A., & Bellis, M. A. (2021). Adult support during childhood: a retrospective study of trusted adult relationships, sources of personal adult support and their association with childhood resilience resources. BMC Psychology, 9(1), 101. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-021-00601-x

Hamilton, M. A., Hamilton, S. F., Sellers, D. E., & DuBois, D. L. (2016). Functional roles of important nonfamily adults for youth. Journal of Community Psychology, 44(6), 799–806. https://doi.org/10.1002/jcop.21792

Sieving, R. E., McRee, A., McMorris, B. J., Shlafer, R. J., Gower, A. L., Kapa, H. M., Beckman, K. J., Doty, J. L., Plowman, S. L., & Resnick, M. D. (2017). Youth–adult connectedness: A key protective factor for adolescent health. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 52(3), S275–S278. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amepre.2016.07.037

Yu, M. V. B., Deutsch, N. L., Ehrlich, V. a. F., Arbeit, M. R., Johnson, H. E., & Melton, T. N. (2018). “It’s like all of his attention is on you”: A mixed methods examination of attachment, supportive nonparental youth–adult relationships, and self‐esteem during adolescence. Journal of Community Psychology, 47(2), 414–434. https://doi.org/10.1002/jcop.22129