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5 Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Tough Topics

By Elizabeth Davis, Extension Associate Professor

parent talking to a child

Talking to kids about difficult subjects—like loss, mental health, or life changes—can be intimidating. However, fostering open communication is key to building trust and helping them navigate life’s complexities. Drawing from Dr. John Gottman’s research on emotional intelligence and Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability, here are five practical tips to help you guide these conversations.

1. Create the Right Environment

Choose a calm, private setting free from distractions. Sitting together on the couch or walking can set a relaxed tone.

2. Start Simple and Honest

Begin with clear, age-appropriate language. For example: “I want to talk about something important. Have you ever heard about...?”

3. Listen Actively

Engage with your child by making eye contact and reflecting their feelings: “It sounds like you’re upset because...” This makes them feel heard and valued.

4. Embrace Vulnerability

Share age-appropriate stories about your experiences and struggles to model resilience. Showing them it’s okay to feel uncertain or scared fosters courage and empathy.

5. Help Them Problem-Solve

Guide your child in finding solutions rather than providing all the answers. Brainstorm together to build their confidence and independence.

Building a Culture of Communication

  • Regular Check-Ins: Discuss feelings as a regular part of family life. Regular chats around the dinner table can help.
  • Model Vulnerability: Show honesty in your interactions; kids learn by example, model the behavior you wish to see.
  • Celebrate Their Courage: Praise their efforts when they open up about sensitive topics.

Conclusion

Discussing difficult topics with your kids can feel overwhelming, but it’s an opportunity to strengthen your relationship and equip them with essential life skills. These moments become meaningful and transformative by fostering open communication and cultivating emotional intelligence.

For additional parenting resources, go to:

Resources

  • Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John Gottman
  • The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly by Brené Brown