Woman meditating

How to Practice Self-Compassionate Mindful Meditation

By Sarah Robinson, Rachel Myrer

Self-compassionate mindful meditation is a way to help you think positive thoughts about yourself and your body. When you read “meditation,” you might think of an Instagram influencer sitting cross-legged and chanting, “Ohhhm.” It’s not like that. 

Self-compassionate mindful meditation will help you love your body more, be kinder to yourself, and be less anxious about what your body looks like (De Wet et al., 2020, Seekis et al., 2020). Here’s how to do it:

  1. Get comfortable. Sit or lay down, it doesn’t matter. Just get comfortable and let your body and mind relax.
  2. Meditate. Meditation is controlling your attention and thoughts (Wielgosz et al., 2018). Is your mind wandering? It’s okay. Try to relax. Take a deep breath. Let the thoughts flow in and out of your mind without judging them. Don’t get mad at yourself if your thoughts wander. Each time you meditate, it will get easier.
  3. Be mindful. Mindfulness is being aware of your body. Some ways to do this are to pay attention to your breath moving in and out, focus on the sensations in your body, and try to relax tight areas of your body (Wielgosz et al., 2018).
  4. Be self-compassionate. Self-compassion means to be kind to your body and your mind. Focus on thinking self-compassionate thoughts like, “My mind is strong,” “I am a good friend,” or “I learn quickly.” Self-compassion has three parts:
    1. Self-kindness. Self-kindness is being kind and not judging yourself, especially if your thoughts wander or you are not feeling happy with yourself (Neff, 2003). If a thought makes you sad or angry, take a moment to relax your body and mind again, and think a kind thought. For example, you might say to yourself, “I had a bad day, but it’s okay.”
    2. Common humanity. Common humanity is recognizing because you are human, you will make mistakes and you will not be perfect. And that’s okay! (Neff, 2003) You might think, “I made a mistake but it’s okay.”
    3. Mindfulness. This version of mindfulness is balancing negative thoughts with self-compassionate thoughts (Neff, 2003). Maybe you thought earlier, “I can’t believe I did that!” Now, you might think, “I made a mistake, but it’s okay. I learned what I need to do next time.”

References

  • De Wet, A. J., Lane, B. R., & Mulgrew, K. E. (2020). A randomised controlled trial examining the effects of self-compassion meditations on women’s body image. Body Image, 35, 22–29. doi: 10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.07.009
  • Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self & Identity, 2(2). doi: 10.1080/15298860309032
  • Seekis, V., Bradley, G. L., & Duffy, A. L. (2020). Does a Facebook-enhanced mindful self-compassion intervention improve body image? An evaluation study. Body Image,34, 259–269. doi: 10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.07.006
  • Wielgosz, J., Goldberg, S. B., Kral, T., Dunne, J. D., & Davidson, R. J. (2018). Mindfulness meditation and psychopathology. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 15, 285–316. doi: 10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-021815-093423