002: Commitment in Marriage

Podcast Guest: Bill Doherty

Commitment in Marriage featuring Bill Doherty

Listen to the Show:

In this Episode

In this week’s episode, Bill Doherty, explains the importance of both boundaries and intimacy in avoiding the consumer marriage. He describes how you can avoid the dangers of believing you are a marriage expert, detect harmful marital therapy, navigate marital difficulties as a novice, and ultimately commit to your marriage.

0:0 – Introduction: Who is Bill Doherty?

3:00 – Will 40-50% of marriages really end in divorce?

4:05 – What’s the danger in acting like a marriage expert?

9:54 –The value of commitment in 21st century marriages.

14:58 – What’s the difference between helpful & harmful marriage therapy?

23:00 – How can I be married for life? Two powerful ingredients.

27:00 – The consumer marriage & Marital First Responders.

30:20 – What motivated Bill’s book “Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World that Pulls Us Apart”?

34:17 – How do marital rituals create and sustain happy marriages?

39:12 –Takeaways & the consumer marriage: What about deal breakers?

About Bill Doherty

Bill Doherty is a Professor in the Department of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota. A long-time marriage and family therapist, he is an expert on navigating marital crisis, avoiding divorce, and using family rituals to enhance the quality of family life. He is the author of “The Intentional Family” and “Take Back Your Marriage”. In recent years Bill has taken this couples work to the national level via cofounding Braver Angels, an initiative working to decrease the political polarization that is dividing the country. dohertyfoundation.org





Insights and Invites


You are a citizen of your marriage not a consumer of your marriage. Intentionality and commitment within marriage will allow you to create the lifelong relationship you may desire. One way to develop intentionality and commitment in your marriage is through Couple Connection Rituals. (Check out the invites section for ideas you can apply today!)

When someone is struggling in their marriage they often turn to family, friends, and clergy first. Head to maritalfirstresponders.org to find out how to respond if someone comes to you in marital crisis!


  1. Couple Connection Ritual Ideas:
    • Anniversary: Review wedding vows and share a special treat!
    • Weekly: Set aside a specific time and location for sexual intimacy when there will be limited distractions.
    • Daily: Set an alarm 20 minutes earlier than when you need to wake up for couple snuggles or shower together before bed.
  2. Learn how to better support marriages around you by becoming a Marital First Responder. Go to maritalfirstresponders.org to find out more information