Words of Affirmation
Love is not only felt, but cultivated. We must choose daily to be intentional about showing our love to our spouse. (Just changed this for grammar, you can change the first sentence if you want!) Click here to enter text.. Just as the lawn does not mow itself, love does not self-maintain either. Knowing your spouse’s love language and speaking it regularly can strengthen your gratitude and love for each other. (Feel free to change this sentence, but try to be more specific than “make a huge difference”) Click here to enter text. We all know that words are so powerful, and that they can build your partner up or emotionally drain them. Words impact everyone, but especially those whose primary love language is words of affirmation. That is one way we can express love emotionally, by using words to build someone up. We all have a deep desire to feel loved and appreciated, using words to express that can make a huge difference.
So, how do you know if your spouse’s primary love language is words of affirmation? Well, if you think about it, how do they feel when someone compliments them or thanks them for doing something? How do they feel when they find a note from you or another loved one? It also helps to look on the opposite side as well, are they hurt deeply when someone criticizes them or gives them the silent treatment? If they feel hurt when criticized, or boosted up when someone compliments them or leaves a kind note for them, there is a high chance that this is one of their top love languages.
If your spouse feels the most love from words of affirmation, here are some tips for how to fill their love tank and help them feel super loved. There are multiple different ways to show love through words here are a few ideas:
- Compliments
- Encouraging Words
- Kind Words
- Humble Words
- Notebooks and written words (virtual or on paper)
So, how do we best use these tips? You know your spouse best and sometimes it takes some trial and error to figure out what really means the most to them. However, make sure your words are genuine, because they will know if you mean it or not. Besides the general tips above, here are some more specific tips:
- Give genuine compliments on how they look, who they are, or something they did.
- Leave them sticky notes of appreciation.
- Say “I am grateful that you…”
- Share what you love about them
- Text “I’m proud of you for…”
- Say “It impressed me when you…”
- “I am always here for you.” Or “I believe in you because…”
- “Thank you for helping me through…”
- “Thank you for sharing that with me, I can tell that was really hard for you.” (Empathy)
- Leave an encouraging note, “Good luck with… you are going to do amazing!”
- Tell other people how great your spouse is. (Whether they are with you or not)
- Share reasons why you love them so much.
- Send them a song that reminds you of them. Click here to enter text.
Here are some things to avoid if your spouse’s love language is words of affirmation:
- Don’t be too harsh/too critical with their mistakes, try to express your feelings and opinions in a constructive manner.
- Avoid negative tones and connotations.
- Assuming that they know how loved they are and that you are proud of them
- Not recognizing or appreciating effort.
One more word of advice, verbal compliments are greater motivators than nagging words. This is not a blog post about how to get your spouse to serve and love you more, it is about figuring out how to show them love in their love language. Try some of the tips given this week and see how it improves your relationship, it will fill their love tank.