Get Creative: Straightforward Strategies to Spice Up Your Sex Life
You probably do the same things every day. Eat, sleep, work, repeat. Maybe you take an occasional vacation to keep things interesting. But if your daily life is anything like mine, chances are it’s pretty . . . well . . . boring. With little variance in life, even sex can become a routine task. But what if I told your life didn’t have to be so dull? When it comes to finding meaning in monotony, a little creativity goes a long way.
Good research shows that creative individuals are happier. They have a more positive perspective of life and better overall well-being. If that isn’t convincing enough, their positive view of the world also translates to relationships, as creative people are more likely to see their partner in a positive light.
Creativity also has abundant benefits to sexual relationships, including increased romantic passion that persists over time, according to research from Dr. Kathleen Carswell and other scholars. If you’re looking to improve your life in the bedroom (and beyond), you may benefit from mixing up your daily routines to include more creativity.
Wondering how to do that? These guiding principles will help you get started.
First, understand that creativity is about a willingness to try new things. Keyword: willingness. When it comes to sex, there is no need to stress about which specific techniques you try out. In fact, when asked what constitutes “good sex,” people rarely mentioned specific sexual practices. Instead, they said that “good sex” comes down to interpersonal skills like communication, connection, and authenticity. This takes the pressure off of creative sexual experiences because there is no need to perform or try anything that makes you uncomfortable. You don’t need to focus on specific sexual acts to have better sex. What’s most important is that you are open to new experiences! A relationship built on love and trust will give you the freedom to explore, try new things, and feel comfortable doing it. To learn more about the value of trying new things in the bedroom, check out this podcast on the Utah Marriage Commission website. Bringing creativity into your sex life may sound daunting, but it really comes down to an overall openness to new experiences.
Second, don’t fall victim to the belief that watching pornography works. Many people preach that pornography is a good way to expand your repertoire and learn new tricks to spice up your sex life. Don’t fall into that trap! Pornography actually leads to impaired sexual functioning and lower sexual satisfaction, according to good research. The bottom line is that pornography is not effective when it comes to strengthening your sexual relationship with your spouse. Talking with your spouse or partner about your sexual desires is much more spicy than watching fake intimacy portrayed in pornography.
Finally, pick up new hobbies that will help you lean into creativity. Now that I’ve clearly outlined what not to do, I am sure you are wondering what in fact you should be doing to bring creativity into your sexual relationships. The good news is that it’s really quite simple. If you want to become a more creative person, do more things that require creativity – outside the bedroom! Some ideas include painting, playing an instrument, gardening, cooking, or photography. You can do these activities alone to cultivate creativity within yourself, or you can do them with your partner to bring creativity into your relationship. Experimenting with new hobbies may seem irrelevant when it comes to sexual creativity, but engaging in any form of creativity will naturally increase your openness to new experiences, which will translate to your willingness to try new things in the bedroom.
Developing your creativity is one of many ways to improve your life and increase your sexual satisfaction. If you are interested in learning more about how you can enhance your sex life, there are additional resources on the Utah Marriage Commission website. .
Courtney DeBry was the primary author of this blog.